my first trip to manila: ben's reflections.

a Philippine horse-drawn carriage, or calesa

I finally had the opportunity to take my first trip to Asia, and it was definitely one to remember.  I don’t think I’ve ever eaten so much amazing food over the course of a single weekend, but I loved every second of it!  We went out for Filipino food, Singaporean cuisine, had multiple rounds of homemade Chinese, and finished it all off with the yummy Halo-Halo dessert Candice mentioned in her blog.  And that was just the first day!  It was truly a wonderful food-filled trip.

My first impression upon our arrival in Manila was the apparent lack of road rules.  Cars seemed to change lanes on a whim; often creating their own lanes, regardless of what the white paint on the ground would have suggested was the appropriate lane for them to be in.  Locals on motorcycles veered in and out of traffic, especially when it came to a stop (which it often did), and they somehow managed to squeeze through gaps that I don’t think I would have felt comfortable walking through.  I could go on, but a few of the “highlights” included a woman riding on the back of a motorcycle holding a baby haphazardly with one arm while it dangled off to her side, the constant use of the car horn to indicate all kinds of things that I didn’t understand, and this truck:

everybody all at once now.

Speaking of driving, Manila is home to a large collection of diverse and colourful Jeepneys, which were originally constructed from U.S. military jeeps left over from WWII.  Since that time, they have become the most popular mode of public transport in the Philippines, and are also considered a national symbol of Philippines culture.  And they are indeed everywhere.  I was delighted by them, especially because of the diverse painted decorations ranging from Spider-Man to Jesus Christ and everything in between.  Here are a few pics of some of the ones we saw:

I also encountered my first squatting toilet in the airport in Singapore.  That was interesting, and although I was tempted, I decided against trying one out.  Maybe next time…

I’m not sure if it was because it was my first trip to Asia and they wanted to really impress me, or it was simply business as usual for when any family come to visit, but the entire trip was akin to being treated like royalty.  We stayed in the 3rd floor suite of our Aunt and Uncle’s beautiful home, which also included a coy pond and the most delicious fresh fruit I’ve ever had.  We were pampered with an in-house massage one evening, and each day enjoyed a freshly made juice consisting of four or five different fruits.  As if that wasn’t enough, we spent an afternoon at a Water Spa that included different acupuncture stations and four different therapeutic spas with each one including some element such as lavender, jasmine or mint.  After working 6 days a week for the past few months, it was just the kind of treatment my tired body needed, and I was extremely grateful for how the family helped me feel at home.

hanging out with one of cousin Ellyce's pet turtles

our aunt and uncle's beautiful home

My favourite part of our trip was being officially welcomed into the family through the traditional “welcome son-in-law” banquet.  As far as I understand, the tradition is celebrated within much of the Chinese culture, with each family having their own unique take on it, and serves as a formal way to welcome a new son-in-law into the family through a formal gathering of all the members of the family (or at least all who can attend).  It is also tradition for this ceremony to occur within the first year of marriage, which was another influence for the timing of our trip, to ensure we could make it to Manila within the year.  I’m not sure the exact total of all the family that was present, but I’d guess around 50 or so, including a few honoured guests that aren’t related by blood or marriage, but are still considered to be part of the family.  Many of the family present I had not yet met, which meant I was doing the rounds to talk with all of my new aunts, uncles, cousins and their many adorable babies.  I enjoyed partaking of all the amazing food including my first Peking Duck, which was the main event and another tradition of the ceremony.  It was delicious, and I could see visible relief on the faces of those gathered when I said so, making me wonder what would’ve happened if it had been more similar to my experience eating chicken feet.  I felt truly honoured by the support of all those who had gathered, and am incredibly grateful to be part of such a supportive and welcoming family.

one of the tables at our "welcome son-in-law" reception

meeting and hanging out with more family

Although my welcome ceremony was a big deal, the featured family gathering of our trip was Candice’s Grandmother’s 96th birthday party!  Amah (what Candice calls her Grandmother) has been in poor health for the past few months, so it was truly a blessing for me to be able to see her again and celebrate her birthday with so much of the family.  I knew going in that it would be a big deal, as I’ve seen pictures and some video of prior birthday celebrations, which often include singing and stage performances from various members of the family.  Although this celebration may have been a bit more low-key than others, it still included a time of singing Amah’s favourite hymns, a giant feast, and lots and lots and lots of pictures.  There were pictures of everyone gathered, pictures of Amah with her children, pictures of Amah with her grandchildren, pictures of Amah with each separate family, and so on.  Each transition of family members was like a well-oiled machine as they’ve obviously had lots of practice over the years.

wait, the hymns are in chinese?

Despite the celebratory nature of the birthday party, it was sad to see Amah in her current condition.  When I first met her a few years ago, she was in the middle of a long tour across the US to visit a bunch of her children and grandchildren.  Even though she had a full time caretaker with her, she was able to get around incredibly well considering she was in her early 90’s.  Unfortunately her body has gone through a lot since that time, as she now has trouble speaking and is confined to a bed or wheelchair.  So you can imagine how touching it was to gather around her with the rest of the family singing hymns, celebrating another year of her incredible life, and having her most clear words of the weekend be to tell us that she loves us.  Those were beautiful moments that I will treasure and remember for the rest of my life.

with Amah back in 2010

taking Amah to the Mother's Day church service

It’s pretty incredible being part of such a large and diverse family.  I now have relatives spread throughout most of the world, and even though I’ve met a lot of the family through the years and a bunch more on this trip, I think it’s still only about half of the overall total.  After experiencing the large gatherings of a small portion of the family in Manila, I can only imagine what it’ll be like when all of them are gathered together.  One thing I know for sure: I won’t be going hungry!

BK

a weekend in manila: candice's reflections

Back in February, my Amah (Chinese for "grandmother" in the family dialect) was having some serious health problems, and it was looking like she might pass within a week or two. Ben and I looked into the possibility of making a quick trip to the Philippines for her memorial. Fortunately, Amah pulled through, and we decided to plan a trip to visit Manila for her 96th birthday this month.

Some brief family history: my maternal grandparents were both born in China and moved to the Philippines, where they met while working as journalists. They got married and had nine children - two boys, seven girls (my mother is the youngest). Most of my extended family is currently spread throughout the Philippines and North America, and it's been many years since we've had a full reunion. But whenever a large group of us has the opportunity to get together, it's a great time. My family and I used to visit the Philippines more often when my brother and I were children, so I have many fun memories - playing games with my cousins, hiking and horseback riding in Baguio City, various family celebrations that sometimes seem more like extravagant theatre productions... Anyway, I hadn't been back since 2000, so I was pretty excited to return to Manila and experience it as an adult traveler. 

little me, with my grandparents and cousin Tim.

Our visit served multiple purposes: Celebrating Amah's birthday, Mother's Day, Ben's first trip to the Philippines (and Asia, in general), and a time for welcoming him into the family as a new son-in-law. We were only in Manila for four days, but we had a pretty full itinerary - mostly revolving around food, of course. We ate at many amazing restaurants (everyone was very impressed with Ben's willingness to try different dishes and cuisines, which is ironic because he's usually so picky with American food!) - including a trip to Razon's for some halo-halo, a popular Filipino dessert. 

hanging out with the family at my grandma's house.

the head table at the "welcome son-in-law" lunch reception. 

halo-halo selfie. beat that, Ellen!

We attended a Mother's Day church service with the family, and visited my grandfather's memorial. 

Amah still loves going to services.

my grandfather's memorial 

Amah's birthday party was a beautiful celebration which included a buffet-style dinner, singing her favourite hymns, and wearing different shades of red (a colour of joy and celebration in the Chinese tradition). 

family.

singing hymns

birthday buffet.

representing the Shangkuan/Surjana/Kortlever family.

The weekend went by quickly, and was a bittersweet occasion: it was a time of celebration, but it's probably the last time we'll get to see my grandma. Unfortunately, I never had a close relationship with any of my grandparents (location, cultural differences... also, my maternal family is huge: I am one of 26 grandchildren!) - but it was still hard for me to see Amah in her ailing condition, and it brought back childhood memories I have of my grandparents when they were healthy. My grandmother has lived a very long and prosperous life, and I am grateful that I have been able to see her multiple times over the years.

It was fun catching up with relatives I haven't seen in a long time, reminiscing about the past: dance routines with cousins and funny childhood stories, older cousins that remember me as a toddler... and cousins' children I remember from their infancy (yes, I am now the Older Relative that says to teenagers: "the last time I saw you, you were just a baaaaby!" but I don't pinch anyone's cheeks. yet). Many inquired about when we will be reproducing, and one of my cousins kept offering Ben a chance to practice changing her baby's diaper. Sorry guys, but children are a long way off for us...

"practicing" with adorable baby Franz

Also, I got to spend Mother's Day with my own mother (which doesn't happen very often), and she got to spend it with her mother too, which is pretty awesome. I missed having my dad and brother around, although we made sure to FaceTime with them every day.

During the long plane ride(s) back to Melbourne, it felt very strange to be heading "home" to a country so far away from any place I've called home in the past. It was the first time in six months that we had seen any family in person, and even though I haven't officially lived in the Philippines (5 months as a toddler doesn't really count, does it?), it's definitely one of the places that I would consider a home of some sort. And I was sad to leave.

It was great to be home for a little while, to celebrate many joyful occasions, to spend time with our family...

and even though goodbyes are sad, I'm thankful for the chance to say them. 

CK

six months down under: an interview.

It's been exactly six months since our Australian relocation, and it feels like a good time to look back and reflect on our experience so far. We've decided to have some fun and interview each other. Like we're famous celebrities, or something.

Candice: Hi partner! Thanks for being up for a little interview. 

Ben: G'day partner!  Of course – what would you like to know?

C: Well, for starters – what has been your favourite Australian experience so far?

B: One of my favourite things has been learning and hearing the different expressions that Australians use, such as “so easy you'll be laughing," “fair dinkum," and “rough as guts."  The language feels so colourful and interesting that sometimes I forget it's still English.  Do you have any favorite expressions you've learned or heard?

C: I loved seeing all the “Happy Mummy's Day” cards for Mother's Day, like it's an Ancient Egyptian holiday. I get a kick out of stuff like that. What are some things you miss as an American in Australia?

B: Oh man, where do I begin?  I miss unlimited internet plans, functional wifi, good pizza, being able to buy ingredients to make s'mores, and especially Mexican food.  I'm sure there's a lot more, but those are the first things that come to mind.  I'll flip it around on you – what are some of the new things about Australia that you appreciate?

C: VEGEMITE. Haha just kidding, that stuff is horrendous. I really like Tim Tam bites. The tram system is a lot better than any other public transit I've used. And I like how tipping isn't a huge thing here – people are paid relatively well (good food service jobs start at around $20/hr.), and it's nice not having to always calculate 20% more than what you see on the menu. Tips are still given for exceptional service of course, and part of my work background is in food service so I know how it goes, but sometimes the tipping expectation can get kind of complicated. Speaking of jobs, how does your work experience compare to your previous job in Seattle?

B: Mmm...Tim Tam bites! Well I like to say that my work experience is similar enough to be comfortable, but different enough to be frustrating at times. Don't get me wrong, the people are extremely friendly and helpful, and I really am enjoying the opportunity – but the main frustration is with my expectations and especially my prior work experience, and how they differ from the reality of working in Australia. I'll try to give you an example: imagine you work for a paper company in the US and you get to relocate to Australia. When you arrive, you are told that it'll be the same work as before: you'll be manufacturing paper.  Simple, right? Well on your first day you are surprised to learn that the machine you use to produce the paper looks the same, but inside there are lots of small differences and certain things have to be done in a different order than you had previously performed before. And what's really challenging is that in order to correctly operate the new machine, you have to unlearn all your old habits. But minor challenges aside, I've especially enjoyed the field work I have been performing, as it's been a great opportunity to work with lots of locals and see a lot of the country in the short time we've been here. Whew, that was a bit long-winded. So Candice, what's it been like being newly married and moving to a completely new country?

C: It's been awesome! I've moved around a lot in the past, but relocating is always overwhelming, and it's much better having you with me. Seattle was definitely a more central location for your friends and family, so it's nice having a fresh start for both of us – it evens the playing field a bit. Overall, moving to Melbourne has been a great growing opportunity for our married life – I feel a lot more connected to you, mostly because we both rely solely on each other these days. Unfortunately, I've had to put the whole name-change thing on hold, due to the timing of the move and other circumstances, but hopefully I'll have all the paperwork in order by the end of the year... or you know, by our 10th anniversary. How has the newlywed expat experience been for you?

B: It's been wonderful. It's always been this sort of romantic idea in my head, just the two of us headed into the unknown, which is pretty much what it's been like. There have been unanticipated challenges, but also unanticipated opportunities – to travel, and to experience so much of our great new home. 

C: What advice would you give American expats in a similar situation? What are things about the move that you think we did well, and things that we could have been better prepared for?

B: Transferring some money and setting up the bank account ahead of time was good, and I would highly recommend that to anyone who's moving. I think that going straight to work was a mistake, and ideally would have liked to have a few days, if not a week, to get settled before working. Just because you get a place that's furnished doesn't mean you have everything you need – more than anything, I regret not bringing our mug collection.

C: So many good mugs were left behind.

B: I know! Also, for people moving to Melbourne, I would definitely recommend living in or near the city, and to take advantage of public transit. It's been a really nice way to learn the city quickly, walking and taking trams. I really appreciate the freedom of driving a car, for work purposes, but I also find that I don't miss it very much when I don't have it.
C: Have you gotten completely used to driving on the other side of the road?

B: Yes! How about you, what advice would you give, and what do you think you could have been better prepared for?

C: I wish I had known ahead of time, just how hard it would be to find a job here. I'm starting to hear from a few American expats who have also had a really difficult time finding work here as well. Most employers only want Australian citizens or permanent residents, plus I don't really have a set career path or enough general experience, apparently. So for advice, I'd definitely recommend getting a job before you move here, or transferring – like you did, Ben! There are definitely people who travel the world and have no problem finding casual work, but for many of us expats, it's hard to break into the scene in Melbourne. Anyway, it's been fun chatting – happy six months down under!

B: It's been an incredible journey with you so far – I can't wait to see what the next six months will bring!

BK & CK

movie filming fun.

Here's one more thing to cross off my reverse bucket list: observe the filming of a major motion picture in our back yard!

Well, not exactly our back yard. We live pretty close (1 mile-ish?) to the Docklands Studios, a production studio for movies and television. Our neighbourhood consists of apartments, corporate businesses, and of course docking areas for ships - nothing fancy, and it's pretty much a deserted area after 6 pm. But it's apparently prime real estate for things like: filming pirate ships braving an artificial windstorm. Which is exactly what I got to watch this Tuesday evening.

Last week, I spotted a stack of public notices at the library, with details about a movie being filmed at the Melbourne City Marina. It had a schedule of filming times (mostly evenings, from 5 pm to 5 am), and some contact details for questions and concerns. The movie is called "The Moon and the Sun," and it's based on a 90's science fiction/historical romance novel. The cast includes Pierce Brosnan and William Hurt, along with Ben Lloyd-Huges (most recently seen in "Divergent"). 

Like a typical curious fangirl, I did my morning run around the filming site during the first morning of set-up, then headed over in the evening to witness the action. (Unfortunately, Ben was out of town for work, otherwise I would have dragged him along too.) I joined a handful of people at the edge of the marina, all poised with smartphone cameras and umbrellas (it was raining off and on - perfect for special effects!). It wasn't very crowded, and many of the onlookers were merely passing by on their after-dinner strolls. There was a uniformed woman approaching us that I assumed was a security guard, and for a moment I thought she might ask everyone to leave, or not to take pictures - but she was really friendly, chatting with people and updating everyone with the proposed schedule of events (45 minutes until the dress rehearsal, then actual filming). A group of Asian women approached her and excitedly inquired about Fan Bingbing, a famous Chinese actress (also in the newest X-Men movie!!) who stars in the movie as "the mermaid." The security guard apologetically explained that Fan had wrapped up her scenes weeks ago, and was back in China (although I know she'll be back in Melbourne for the X-Men movie premiere in a few weeks, with Hugh Jackman! yay!). 

The crowd of us huddled around the marina, watching the crew set up and test all the fancy-looking equipment. There was no sign of the former Mr. Bond, but I did see some other cast members film a sequence on the mast of the ship, repeatedly being thrown around and attacked with water and lightning effects. By the way, Melbourne is definitely heading into winter, and it is not pleasant outside. I was shivering under all my layers of clothing and couldn't feel my feet - but felt even colder watching the cast members on the drenched ship, dressed in their delicate 17th century best, doing take after take of the stormy scene into the wee hours of the morning. Acting isn't always as glamorous as it seems, I guess.

CK

food: in and out.

Some of you have inquired about what the food is like in Australia... actually, no one has asked - but I'm going to write about it anyway! Here is a blog post dedicated to our nutritional adventures thus far:

In!

Back when Ben and I were dating, our homemade meals consisted mostly of easy prep foods, such as boxed pasta and frozen pizza. Our separate living situations and my varied work schedule made it hard to plan elaborate homemade dinners, and we always told ourselves that we'd be much better at eating healthy when we finally lived together. And that time has finally come.

Living a block away from the grocery is really convenient - there's also a small Asian grocery next to our local Safeway, in case I feel like cooking up some cuisine inspired by my ethnic heritage. We also live a tram ride away from the Queen Victoria Market, which is a great place for picking up fresh fruits and veggies. 

Queen Victoria market

As I've mentioned before, a few ingredients have different names in Australia (capsicum = green pepper, coriander = cilantro, etc.), which has made grocery shopping a little tricky at times. There are a few food items that are significantly different than their American counterparts: for example, we've been told that Australian brown sugar is usually white sugar coated with a tiny bit of brown sugar. And of course, there are some things that we can't get here at all. Probably for our own good, but still a slight annoyance.

Ben is not impressed about the only s'mores "ingredients" I could find at the grocery store...

I've been having fun developing my cooking repertoire, tweaking online recipes to our liking - but usually just making things up as I go. So far, we're both happy with my fish tacos, baked salmon and asparagus, panang curry, and vegetarian chili. I've also made matzo ball soup on a few occasions, whenever one of us is feeling under the weather. It really helps!

tacos with flavoured tofu.

matzo ball soup.

salmon and asparagus.

As far as Australian-specific foods: we recently discovered Tim Tam Chocolicious Bites, and they are DIVINE. We have yet to find a good brand of frozen pizza here. And Vegemite is really... not delicious. I still want to believe that it's an acquired taste, but it tastes like salty metal. And Ben dislikes it even more than I do.

when in Australia...

Out!

We've been trying to save money by eating in a lot, but when Ben is in town we try to designate one weeknight towards trying a local restaurant of some sort. So far we've been to a few good places, such as an authentic African restaurant, various sushi places, and some fun chains. I love risotto and gnocchi dishes, and Ben usually orders chicken parmesan (I'm a pescatarian, so eating out is pretty much his only chance to enjoy meat). Portions are filling but manageable, which is great because most places don't pack up leftovers. Here are some pictures of some of our lovely meals out:

smoked salmon and corn fritters.

African feast.

delicious fig and apple breakfast pastry.

Fish and chips are pretty popular in fishing towns, naturally. Most meals are generous in quantity, and are wrapped in lots of paper. 

Alcohol out is expensive, so we only buy beer and wine coolers in bulk from a liquor store called Dan Murphy's, to enjoy on occasion at home. We've also had a chance to visit some delightful wineries during our stay at Lakes Entrance.

 All in all, we've been having a great time trying new cuisine, Australian versions of our favourite dishes, and creating some of our own specialties. We definitely recommend the food scene in Melbourne, and we're looking forward to exploring many more restaurants and dishes in the future.

CK