a weekend in manila: candice's reflections

Back in February, my Amah (Chinese for "grandmother" in the family dialect) was having some serious health problems, and it was looking like she might pass within a week or two. Ben and I looked into the possibility of making a quick trip to the Philippines for her memorial. Fortunately, Amah pulled through, and we decided to plan a trip to visit Manila for her 96th birthday this month.

Some brief family history: my maternal grandparents were both born in China and moved to the Philippines, where they met while working as journalists. They got married and had nine children - two boys, seven girls (my mother is the youngest). Most of my extended family is currently spread throughout the Philippines and North America, and it's been many years since we've had a full reunion. But whenever a large group of us has the opportunity to get together, it's a great time. My family and I used to visit the Philippines more often when my brother and I were children, so I have many fun memories - playing games with my cousins, hiking and horseback riding in Baguio City, various family celebrations that sometimes seem more like extravagant theatre productions... Anyway, I hadn't been back since 2000, so I was pretty excited to return to Manila and experience it as an adult traveler. 

little me, with my grandparents and cousin Tim.

Our visit served multiple purposes: Celebrating Amah's birthday, Mother's Day, Ben's first trip to the Philippines (and Asia, in general), and a time for welcoming him into the family as a new son-in-law. We were only in Manila for four days, but we had a pretty full itinerary - mostly revolving around food, of course. We ate at many amazing restaurants (everyone was very impressed with Ben's willingness to try different dishes and cuisines, which is ironic because he's usually so picky with American food!) - including a trip to Razon's for some halo-halo, a popular Filipino dessert. 

hanging out with the family at my grandma's house.

the head table at the "welcome son-in-law" lunch reception. 

halo-halo selfie. beat that, Ellen!

We attended a Mother's Day church service with the family, and visited my grandfather's memorial. 

Amah still loves going to services.

my grandfather's memorial 

Amah's birthday party was a beautiful celebration which included a buffet-style dinner, singing her favourite hymns, and wearing different shades of red (a colour of joy and celebration in the Chinese tradition). 

family.

singing hymns

birthday buffet.

representing the Shangkuan/Surjana/Kortlever family.

The weekend went by quickly, and was a bittersweet occasion: it was a time of celebration, but it's probably the last time we'll get to see my grandma. Unfortunately, I never had a close relationship with any of my grandparents (location, cultural differences... also, my maternal family is huge: I am one of 26 grandchildren!) - but it was still hard for me to see Amah in her ailing condition, and it brought back childhood memories I have of my grandparents when they were healthy. My grandmother has lived a very long and prosperous life, and I am grateful that I have been able to see her multiple times over the years.

It was fun catching up with relatives I haven't seen in a long time, reminiscing about the past: dance routines with cousins and funny childhood stories, older cousins that remember me as a toddler... and cousins' children I remember from their infancy (yes, I am now the Older Relative that says to teenagers: "the last time I saw you, you were just a baaaaby!" but I don't pinch anyone's cheeks. yet). Many inquired about when we will be reproducing, and one of my cousins kept offering Ben a chance to practice changing her baby's diaper. Sorry guys, but children are a long way off for us...

"practicing" with adorable baby Franz

Also, I got to spend Mother's Day with my own mother (which doesn't happen very often), and she got to spend it with her mother too, which is pretty awesome. I missed having my dad and brother around, although we made sure to FaceTime with them every day.

During the long plane ride(s) back to Melbourne, it felt very strange to be heading "home" to a country so far away from any place I've called home in the past. It was the first time in six months that we had seen any family in person, and even though I haven't officially lived in the Philippines (5 months as a toddler doesn't really count, does it?), it's definitely one of the places that I would consider a home of some sort. And I was sad to leave.

It was great to be home for a little while, to celebrate many joyful occasions, to spend time with our family...

and even though goodbyes are sad, I'm thankful for the chance to say them. 

CK