my first trip to manila: ben's reflections.

a Philippine horse-drawn carriage, or calesa

I finally had the opportunity to take my first trip to Asia, and it was definitely one to remember.  I don’t think I’ve ever eaten so much amazing food over the course of a single weekend, but I loved every second of it!  We went out for Filipino food, Singaporean cuisine, had multiple rounds of homemade Chinese, and finished it all off with the yummy Halo-Halo dessert Candice mentioned in her blog.  And that was just the first day!  It was truly a wonderful food-filled trip.

My first impression upon our arrival in Manila was the apparent lack of road rules.  Cars seemed to change lanes on a whim; often creating their own lanes, regardless of what the white paint on the ground would have suggested was the appropriate lane for them to be in.  Locals on motorcycles veered in and out of traffic, especially when it came to a stop (which it often did), and they somehow managed to squeeze through gaps that I don’t think I would have felt comfortable walking through.  I could go on, but a few of the “highlights” included a woman riding on the back of a motorcycle holding a baby haphazardly with one arm while it dangled off to her side, the constant use of the car horn to indicate all kinds of things that I didn’t understand, and this truck:

everybody all at once now.

Speaking of driving, Manila is home to a large collection of diverse and colourful Jeepneys, which were originally constructed from U.S. military jeeps left over from WWII.  Since that time, they have become the most popular mode of public transport in the Philippines, and are also considered a national symbol of Philippines culture.  And they are indeed everywhere.  I was delighted by them, especially because of the diverse painted decorations ranging from Spider-Man to Jesus Christ and everything in between.  Here are a few pics of some of the ones we saw:

I also encountered my first squatting toilet in the airport in Singapore.  That was interesting, and although I was tempted, I decided against trying one out.  Maybe next time…

I’m not sure if it was because it was my first trip to Asia and they wanted to really impress me, or it was simply business as usual for when any family come to visit, but the entire trip was akin to being treated like royalty.  We stayed in the 3rd floor suite of our Aunt and Uncle’s beautiful home, which also included a coy pond and the most delicious fresh fruit I’ve ever had.  We were pampered with an in-house massage one evening, and each day enjoyed a freshly made juice consisting of four or five different fruits.  As if that wasn’t enough, we spent an afternoon at a Water Spa that included different acupuncture stations and four different therapeutic spas with each one including some element such as lavender, jasmine or mint.  After working 6 days a week for the past few months, it was just the kind of treatment my tired body needed, and I was extremely grateful for how the family helped me feel at home.

hanging out with one of cousin Ellyce's pet turtles

our aunt and uncle's beautiful home

My favourite part of our trip was being officially welcomed into the family through the traditional “welcome son-in-law” banquet.  As far as I understand, the tradition is celebrated within much of the Chinese culture, with each family having their own unique take on it, and serves as a formal way to welcome a new son-in-law into the family through a formal gathering of all the members of the family (or at least all who can attend).  It is also tradition for this ceremony to occur within the first year of marriage, which was another influence for the timing of our trip, to ensure we could make it to Manila within the year.  I’m not sure the exact total of all the family that was present, but I’d guess around 50 or so, including a few honoured guests that aren’t related by blood or marriage, but are still considered to be part of the family.  Many of the family present I had not yet met, which meant I was doing the rounds to talk with all of my new aunts, uncles, cousins and their many adorable babies.  I enjoyed partaking of all the amazing food including my first Peking Duck, which was the main event and another tradition of the ceremony.  It was delicious, and I could see visible relief on the faces of those gathered when I said so, making me wonder what would’ve happened if it had been more similar to my experience eating chicken feet.  I felt truly honoured by the support of all those who had gathered, and am incredibly grateful to be part of such a supportive and welcoming family.

one of the tables at our "welcome son-in-law" reception

meeting and hanging out with more family

Although my welcome ceremony was a big deal, the featured family gathering of our trip was Candice’s Grandmother’s 96th birthday party!  Amah (what Candice calls her Grandmother) has been in poor health for the past few months, so it was truly a blessing for me to be able to see her again and celebrate her birthday with so much of the family.  I knew going in that it would be a big deal, as I’ve seen pictures and some video of prior birthday celebrations, which often include singing and stage performances from various members of the family.  Although this celebration may have been a bit more low-key than others, it still included a time of singing Amah’s favourite hymns, a giant feast, and lots and lots and lots of pictures.  There were pictures of everyone gathered, pictures of Amah with her children, pictures of Amah with her grandchildren, pictures of Amah with each separate family, and so on.  Each transition of family members was like a well-oiled machine as they’ve obviously had lots of practice over the years.

wait, the hymns are in chinese?

Despite the celebratory nature of the birthday party, it was sad to see Amah in her current condition.  When I first met her a few years ago, she was in the middle of a long tour across the US to visit a bunch of her children and grandchildren.  Even though she had a full time caretaker with her, she was able to get around incredibly well considering she was in her early 90’s.  Unfortunately her body has gone through a lot since that time, as she now has trouble speaking and is confined to a bed or wheelchair.  So you can imagine how touching it was to gather around her with the rest of the family singing hymns, celebrating another year of her incredible life, and having her most clear words of the weekend be to tell us that she loves us.  Those were beautiful moments that I will treasure and remember for the rest of my life.

with Amah back in 2010

taking Amah to the Mother's Day church service

It’s pretty incredible being part of such a large and diverse family.  I now have relatives spread throughout most of the world, and even though I’ve met a lot of the family through the years and a bunch more on this trip, I think it’s still only about half of the overall total.  After experiencing the large gatherings of a small portion of the family in Manila, I can only imagine what it’ll be like when all of them are gathered together.  One thing I know for sure: I won’t be going hungry!

BK