goodbye, 2015.

2015 has been a big year for the Kortlevers! We made good progress on work/education goals, one of us turned 30, and of course - we made a person! Here are some quick reflections:

Best Memory of 2015

Ben: It's so hard to pick just one, but meeting Arden for the first time was definitely the most significant and powerful moment of the past year.  I didn't know how we'd make it, but a month later she smiled for the first time and I knew we'd be just fine.
Candice: Meeting my daughter for the first time - not only in person, but also other aspects like the first ultrasound, and the first time I felt her kicking. We've had so many incredible blessings this year.
Arden: Bouncing.  I love to bounce.

Most Challenging Moment

Ben: Seeing Candice go through all the pain and discomfort of pregnancy, labour and delivery.  Also the first time Arden cried so hard she turned purple.
Candice: Giving birth is the obvious one, but the weeks afterward were extremely challenging. Caring for a newborn is no picnic, especially on the other side of the world from our families.
Arden: Immunisations.  At just just 6 weeks old you stick me with needles?! Also, being born - that's no picnic either!

Most Excited for in the New Year

Ben: Hearing Arden's first word (which will be "dada" obviously) and introducing her to the rest of the family.
Candice: Watching Arden grow, and hopefully gaining a little more independence so I can maybe eat a meal with two hands again? I'm also looking forward to more playful interaction, especially when she gains total head control and starts to laugh.
Arden: I hear teething is fun!

Most Anticipated Movie 

Ben: Captain America - Civil War.  Independence Day Resurgence would be, but an Independence Day without Will Smith is just wrong.
Candice: Batman vs. Superman looks interesting. A funny Lex Luthor with hair - why not?
Arden: I have high hopes for the Point Break remake.

2016 Resolutions

Ben: There are so many things I want to introduce Arden to.  I want to spend time reading to her, teaching her to crawl, walk, and geologize.  As for me personally, I'd like to travel and see more of Australia.
Candice: I really hope to finish up my Master's degree by the end of the year. And maybe do some fun artsy projects with Arden. Record a song together? Design some greeting cards? I think we'll have a lot of fun together.
Arden: Head control.  I really need to get that down.

Thanks so much for keeping up with us this year! We wish you all a wonderful end of 2015/beginning of 2016.

-the Kortlever Family

merry christmas!

Wishing everyone a festive, wonderful Christmas!

love,

the Kortlevers

ben is tired.

The midwife places Arden on Candice, freshly delivered and still covered in blood and amniotic fluid, and suddenly we are parents.  I'll never forget that moment, sharing a look of shock and awe with Candice, then staring at this beautiful girl we have been creating in our minds for the past 9 months.

Flash forward 6 weeks and Arden is wearing 0-3 month clothes (I may have shed a tear when we had to box up all the newborn outfits), growing heavier and more squeezable by the day, and increasing her vocal prowess to the point where I worry about the state of our windows when she screams.

My head constantly feels a bit cloudy, on account of the lack of sleep, and probably the ever present shock that hasn't completely worn off since Arden was born.  Don't get me wrong, I love her like I've known her for years and feel very comfortable being a father, but the knowledge that she is ours and totally dependent on us is a bit overwhelming.

Bouncing has become our life.  Bouncing to comfort our cuddly little girl, who hates being put down during the day.  On hot days, we turn on the A/C and bounce in front of the fan, and while we watch The Tonight Show one of us will inevitably be bouncing around the living room to try and lull her to sleep.  I make dinner, Candice bounces.  Candice takes a shower, I bounce.  Daddy needs to check his fantasy football team, Mommy gets out the Moby wrap and bounces.  Bounce, bounce, bounce!  At least we are getting a workout.

I was fortunate to be able to take 3 weeks off work when Arden was born, and treasured those first few weeks getting to know our daughter.  Eventually we settled into a nice routine, and one of my favourite times became the early morning when I would take Arden to the living room and let Candice sleep for a couple extra hours.  Arden would still be all cozy in her swaddle, and I would sit with her on my chest and just enjoy the sound of her breathing and the feel of our hearts beating together.  I was also reminded of my Dad in those moments, who has told me many times that holding me on his chest as a baby were some of the most wonderful moments of his life.  It feels really special to know that feeling my Dad experienced with me, and to be able to share it now with my daughter.

Going back to work was really sad and difficult.  At only 3 weeks old, Arden was still so tiny and precious, and I felt so bad to leave her (and Candice).  All I wanted was to stay home with my little pod and be there to experience every new sound, facial twitch, and snuggle.  Thankfully my coworkers have been great.  They are so excited for us and love all the pictures of Arden, and I've been able to work from home one day a week too.  I still wish I could be home all the time, but I am thankful to have a job I enjoy with people I really like, and that I can provide for our growing family.

It's been a challenging few weeks raising our little girl, as we have to adjust to simple things like not eating at the same time (since someone has to bounce the baby) and her always fluctuating moods, but when she started smiling and cooing over the past week it made all the difficult moments fade away.  Yep, we've become those parents, and we love it.

BK

the Hartmans visit Melbourne!

We finally got to host our first visitors of the year - the Hartmans!

Our friends Zach and Kyara stayed with us for three nights en route to New Zealand. Even though their visit was only two weeks after Arden's birth, we were able to show them around the city just fine - although at a much slower pace than what we're used to! We even lucked out with some pretty great weather, despite a less-than-stellar forecast.

We got to show them around our neighbourhood in the sunshine, hoping to see some of the epic jellyfish that can usually be seen around the Docklands (sadly to no avail). We also took them to the Night Noodle Markets, one of our favourite events around this time of year.

Docklands selfie

Night Noodle Markets!

We spent a day touring the CBD, hitting up the touristy attractions: Melbourne Central, the Queen Victoria Market, the Eureka Skydeck, Shrine of Remembrance, Botanic Gardens and Hozier Lane.

in front of Flinders Street station

enjoying lunch from the Borek Shop at the Queen Vic Markets

at the Shrine of Remembrance

We also borrowed a car from our friends Rick and Robyn, driving along the beautiful Great Ocean Road and stopping by a little caravan park in Kennett River to show our friends some Australian wildlife (koalas and cockatoos).

Arden wasn't a huge fan of the car "capsule"

It was really great to have some old friends around, especially during a time when we've been missing our families and friends a lot. The weekend was the perfect opportunity to show them Melbourne - and also introduce Arden to her birthplace as well. 

Thanks for stopping by, Zach and Kyara! And thanks for being patient with us and the baby. :)

CK

the first month with a newborn.

Nothing prepares you for the first month with a newborn. We've read books and talked to parents of all ages and backgrounds. But there's nothing quite like actually experiencing the combination of wonder, joy, frustration, gratefulness, and nostalgia - topped with a good dose of sleep depravation, of course.

Typical morning: Arden is ready to greet the day. No one else is.

Ben was able to take three weeks off work to stay home with me and the baby (one week of paternity leave, two weeks of vacation), which was really great, especially since we don't have family around to help out. Australia has pretty good family leave policies, but unfortunately because we're not PRs/citizens, Ben wasn't able to get government-approved parental leave (Australian fathers can get up to three months of paternity leave).

"We're at a nice restaurant? Don't worry, I won't start screaming for milk until right before your food comes out!"

Parenthood is a huge lifestyle change. The lack of sleep was really hard for the first week or two, but we've kind of gotten used to the rhythm of waking every 1.5/2 hours throughout the night. Our conversations have shifted from politics, news and work/uni happenings... to the amount, colour and consistency of our daughter's poop. But aside from that, Ben and I are adjusting pretty well. Hopefully we'll be able to carve out some couple-time in the near future, but so far we haven't lost our collective sense of humour. Or sanity.

A little incidental smile!

Australia seems to have a really good baby/child healthcare system in place. A few days after we were discharged from the hospital, a midwife came to our apartment to check on us and answer any questions we had. The City of Melbourne also provides maternal and child health services, scheduling appointments for various baby milestones (one week, two weeks, four weeks, eight weeks, etc.) for weigh-ins and more question-answering. We actually live a 5-minute walk away from one of the clinics, which is super convenient! Also, having a baby in Australia has introduced us to a whole new world of Australian slang. For example, a pacifier is called a "dummy", and a baby carseat is called a "car capsule". Needless to say, putting our baby registry together was a learning experience.

the Kortlevers and Melbourne.

We miss our families dearly, but are so grateful to be able to FaceTime with them whenever we want, as well as keep in touch daily via e-mails and the text messaging app Viber. It's not the same as in-person visits and interactions, but at least with technology they can see some of Arden's cute faces (and tantrums), as well as watch her grow every week.

FaceTime with our Michigan family

Arden has had a few in-person visitors so far: mostly some of my friends from uni, as well as two of our friends from Seattle who stayed with us for a really fun weekend. Ben and I try to take Arden out during the weekends - mostly so we don't go stir-crazy, but also because Melbourne is such an amazing and family-friendly city (especially during this time of year, when Spring meets Summer) and it would be a shame not to enjoy some of the events the city has to offer. At the moment, Arden does the best in the Moby Wrap, a cloth baby carrier. Ben and I rented a stroller for a few months (since we're not sure how long we'll be living here, we decided not to buy one), which Arden only tolerates if we're constantly moving.

Being a "stay at home mom" is pretty challenging for me during these early stages, especially because Arden wants to be held all the time. I often describe my days as "doing everything and nothing at the same time" - constantly breastfeeding, rocking her to sleep (unfortunately she won't sleep anywhere but in our arms, so no naps for us yet!), and entertaining her when she's awake and aware. I know these days won't last forever, and that someday I'll yearn for the time when all Arden wanted was to be held, fed and snuggled. Lately I've been wearing the Moby Wrap around the house while she naps in it so I can partake in frivolous activities - like eating lunch or doing a load of laundry. Having her in the carrier lets me use my hand(s) freely, but of course she doesn't settle unless I constantly bounce or walk around, which keeps things interesting!

How I'll be writing blog entries from now on...

Despite the lifestyle adjustments and inevitable newborn-raising chaos, I am very grateful for the ability to be with Arden every moment and watch her grow. She's only a month old now, but she changes so much every day. Ben and I are incredibly blessed to have her, and are looking forward to seeing more of her personality (and hopefully night-time sleeping skills!) develop.

CK