7.5 months and wintertime.

Arden is now 7.5 months old, and - dare I say it? - things have been feeling much more manageable these days.

Sleep training was really the game-changer for us. For the first five months, she either needed to feed to sleep (and keep feeding...), or be carried and bounced around the house for her naps. She wasn't sleeping well, I wasn't sleeping well, and Ben had moved into the guest room (and was also "not sleeping well," he would complain to me! ha!). A few weeks before Saralyn and Amare's visit, we decided that enough was enough and began sleep training her at 5.5 months. The transition wasn't painless, but definitely worth it in the long run. We can now put her in the crib awake, she eventually falls asleep for reasonable stretches of time, and she wakes up happy. Also because we get a break, we're now able to give her more attention during her awake-time. Everyone wins! She still wakes up to feed three times a night, but it's still such an improvement from how things used to be.

solids: the next challenge.

I found this to be really fascinating though: our friends and family in the USA thought we began sleep training way too late... while Ben's Australian coworkers thought five months was way too early to start. I'm guessing this is partly due to the differences in maternity leave and social attitudes towards birth. It's common for Australian mothers to take up to a year of leave, while in the States, mothers usually go back to work only a few weeks/months after giving birth. Because of this, many American babies are kind of forced into a routine much earlier. And come to think of it, we might never have started sleep training her if it wasn't for my intensive class...

Also - winter is now upon us! Brrrr. As I've mentioned before, Melbourne winter isn't as dreary as Washington, or as eternally cold as Michigan. But we've acclimated to Victorian winters, and they feel cold to us. At least we finally get to dress Arden in some adorable colder-weather gear though! You can't get much cuter than a baby in an animal ear hoodie.

We finally caved and bought an oil heater for our bedroom (Ben and I had gotten by without one for the past two winters by huddling under the covers, but we can't really do that with Arden). And then we had to buy a humidifier, because heaters make the air really dry. Combined with the other contraptions we've recently bought (a white noise machine, baby monitor, etc...) we now have what seems like the entire inventory of a Brookstone store in our bedroom.

It's also really nice to know that Arden is capable of taking a bottle (even though she'll usually just wait for me to get home, as we learned during my intensive class). We finally felt comfortable enough to leave Arden with some friends while we went to see X-Men: Apocalypse! (Side note: I felt a little self-conscious about dressing up/cosplaying as mutant Jubilee for a movie that's already been out for a month. But on the walk to the cinema, we started spotting some familiar characters. Marvin the Martian, Waldo, Pikachu... and then we realised that it was OzCon weekend at the Melbourne Convention & Exhibition Centre! I blended right in.)

30 going on 13.

Even though a part of me misses newborn-baby Arden, 7-month old Arden is a lot of fun to be around. She smiles often at both of us (still loves to stare our friends down, though), can relax a lot longer in her stroller before having a meltdown, and loves to play stereotypical baby "games" like peekaboo and airplane. She even recently lasted for three hours (three! hours!) while I met a friend at a coffeehouse, sitting quietly in my lap, taking in the conversation.

baby's first high tea and Queen's Birthday holiday. aren't we the best parents? and yes, I MADE THOSE COOKIES!

We're now gearing up for a visit to the States next month! We'll first be meeting up with my family in Hawaii, a destination we picked due to its close(r) location to us (sorry Michiganders! Grand Rapids is four flights away from Melbourne - not ideal for babies...) and because it's, well, Hawaii. We'll then spend time in Washington with Ben's family, also hoping to see some friends and beloved places we've missed. It'll be a busy trip, but definitely worthwhile! We're excited, a little nervous (flying and traveling with children is just one of those things), but mostly we can't wait for the rest of our families to meet our little girl.

And to experience some warmer weather. We're looking forward to that, too.

CK

winter wonderland.

an intense intensive, and the final stretch.

“I am not the same having seen the moon shine on the other side of the world.” - Mary Anne Radmacher

It's been an intense month.

I mentioned before that I was considering taking a week-long intensive class, but wasn't sure how Arden would do without me. Spoiler alert: I took it, and she did just fine! Eventually. It took a lot of effort to be able to attend the class (months of pumping, bottle feeding practice, sleep training, even flying some family in to take care of the baby!) but it was totally worth it. I had heard amazing reviews of the course from classmates who have already taken it, and even though the class content wasn't all sunshine and rainbows, they were right - and it was probably the most generally applicable class I've taken in my life.

I do have to say, the only reason I was able to attend this class without totally being a basket case, was because I knew Arden was in good hands with my sister-in-law Saralyn and nephew Amare (and of course, Ben). I'm so glad they were able to make the trip. It meant a lot to Ben for his family to visit us, and I loved seeing Arden interact with more of her relatives, especially her cousin - whom I remember as a baby himself...!

It was also nice to spend good quality time with just Saralyn and Amare. Usually when we see each other, it's during a big family get-together where it's hard to have more than surface conversations with people. Don't get me wrong, I love big family events and sometimes they're the only opportunities to see relatives. But sometimes it's a more meaningful occasion to have a lot of time with fewer people. Conversations go deeper, relationships grow stronger. During their final night in Melbourne, Saralyn and I stayed up until the wee hours of the morning just sitting and having a heart-to-heart chat, something I don't think I've ever had the opportunity to do with her in person. And that was really, really special.

Anyway. I should probably mention what the class was about: how to be an efficient and safe researcher/humanitarian/journalist/person while visiting complicated or less-stable parts of the world. It was eight days long: three days of a normal 9-5 session at the university, four days of intense practical training out in the country (about a 2.5 hour train ride away from Melbourne) and one day back in the university classroom to debrief. A lot of information was covered during the classes - the basics of negotiation, evacuation, how to take cover under fire, how to survive a hostage situation... basically Preventing and/or Dealing With Really Terrible Things 101.

Because of the sensitive nature of the class, I can't write too much about what we actually did during the practical training weekend. But here are some published articles that explain a bit more about the course content: this blog by my professor about the purpose of the class, and this recent article about a similar program.

To me, the intense training weekend felt like a mixture of summer camp and a Joss Whedon television show (crazy situations and lots of teamwork with colourful characters), with a dash of the Hunger Games thrown in there (running around in the woods - or the "bush" as Australians call it). I loved parts of it, struggled with parts of it, and was emotionally affected by all of it. So much that I wrote this song about it.

it's been a while since I've been away from the city!

As you can imagine, being a new mom while taking this class was pretty challenging. Not just because I missed Arden (I knew she was in good hands... and she actually seemed to be doing better without me) but because of the breast pumping. Breastfeeding is really important to me, and I wanted to make sure I didn't accidentally wean her during the weekend away - or get mastitis. I rented a hospital-grade pump just for the week (and brought my handheld pump just in case) and the experience was... well, I wouldn't recommend it. The class schedule wasn't predictable enough for regular breaks (although I knew this from the start and was willing to take the risk), I had some medical issues, and I missed out a little on getting to know my supercool classmates during meal breaks. But. I made it through, and the most important thing is that Arden can still breastfeed!

my sweet lunch break setup during the on-campus classes. don't ask about the off-campus setup though...

During the rough moments, a small part of me totally regretted taking this class when I did. It was a lot of work (and still is), I wasn't able to fully immerse myself in the experience, and I didn't need any more sleep deprivation on top of my already exhausted state.

But on the other hand, I desperately needed this kind of a "break". The experience helped me remember my life prior to motherhood, and for three days I got to live in a unique and thrilling environment, feeling like an individual again. Maybe not as cool or funny or fun-loving as I used to be, but I got to just be me. Despite always having to be on my guard, it was a huge relief to only have to look out for myself. I didn't have to constantly bounce around the house and sing nursery rhymes and make silly faces (on purpose). I was able to have conversations with people about really interesting things - traveling and research and security protocol and humanitarian work. And I was even able to take two showers in three days - what a luxury!

During an intense simulation in the middle of the woods one night, I looked up at the sky and saw a gorgeous blanket of stars, the most I've seen in my life. There was Mars, glowing and red among the sea of brightness and galaxy dust. A few hours later as we trekked through the Australian bush, kangaroos bounced off in the distance during a (mostly) peaceful sunrise. For the past six months, I've found myself in awe of the beauty found in the tiniest things - small hands, little giggles, the gradual milestones of an infant. So it was a nice contrast to sit in awe of beauty on a large scale again.

watching the sunrise.

I had very mixed emotions for a week after the class, especially on the day we came home (on Mother's Day no less!). I really missed the experience of being an individual, of taking some time away from my life as a mother and wife, of doing something unexpected and adventurous. It was hard to come home, and I felt kind of guilty about it. But I was given lots of time for therapeutic things in the weeks following - writing, journaling, songwriting and having long debriefing coffee-dates with classmates. And I feel much better now.

So here I am, in the final stretch of grad school. All that's standing between me and graduation is... a 7,000 word research paper, two journalism articles, a reflective essay... and six more months. My efforts to graduate this semester were squashed when I realised that this intensive class doesn't technically count for a mid-year graduation. But fortunately it doesn't really matter in my situation. It actually works in my favour now, because a December graduation means that my mom can attend the ceremony! She was planning on visiting at the end of the year anyway, and when I asked her if the dates worked, she went right ahead and bought her ticket. :)

A huge thank-you to Saralyn and Amare for making the trip and caring for Arden while I was away; to my classmates, teachers and mentors for being awesome and fun (and supportive of my unique health requirements); and of course, thanks to Ben for supporting my decision to take the class, and for giving me my much-needed time to recover afterwards.

CK

Saralyn and Amare's visit.

Ever since we moved to Australia, or really since we decided to move and started telling people about it, friends and family have expressed their desire to come visit.  We’ve been fortunate in having a few friends and Candice’s Mom come visit, and every time we have visitors we get to show them around this awesome city.  So you can imagine my excitement when my sister and nephew agreed to come out to help us with Arden. 

Despite a 15 hour flight with little sleep, they were up for a lot of exploration over the first weekend, so we took them to the main sites around the CBD: Fed Square, Southbank, the Shrine of Remembrance and Queen Victoria Market.  We had typical Melbourne weather too – beautiful and sunny one day, then rainy, windy and sunny the next. 

But wait Ben, what was it like seeing them meet Arden for the first time?!  Well as I was waiting for them at the airport, I got a little emotional thinking about seeing them and wondering how they would react to meeting Arden.  Would they cry?  Laugh?  Would they feel connected to her and try to sneak her home in their luggage?  And how would I feel, seeing someone from my family meet Arden?

Saralyn reacted by hugging her, bouncing her and kissing her cheeks (which we can all agree just beg to be kissed), while Amare played shy and took a bit to warm to his newest cousin.  But as soon as he learned that Arden loved singing, especially when she was upset, he would run over to her anytime she started to fuss and sing songs to her and play peek-a-boo to cheer her up.  In other words, he was the sweetest big cousin Arden could have hoped for.

As for me, I felt a whole mixture of emotions.  But mostly I felt joy to have my sister and nephew around and to see them interacting with Arden.  It was so nice coming home from work to spend time with them and to play catch and videogames with Amare.

While Candice was away for the weekend we spent the day at the zoo, which was a blast.  It was so funny being there with an easily distracted 6-year old.  He would get so excited to see a particular animal but as soon as we saw it, he was ready to move on to the next one.  It gave me a fun glimpse of what Arden might be like in a few years…

We had such a great visit with Saralyn and Amare.  I realised after they left how much I’ve been missing them, and how much it’s been weighing on me that I really want my family to see and experience our life in Melbourne, especially now with Arden.  I am so thankful that they took the time to come here, and seeing how they fell in love with Arden makes me even more excited for our upcoming trip to the states.  Arden will finally get to meet more of her family, and I can’t wait to see their reactions to holding her for the first time. 

BK

Merri Creek and other updates.

Here's what we've been up to:

-baby sleep training. (don't ask)

-class. (it's hard to study with a baby)

-exploring Melbourne on the weekends.

Speaking of weekend adventures, we went to Merri Creek for some exploring last weekend. We visited the labyrinth and wishing tree, enjoying the pretty surroundings along the way. I didn't take pictures, but I did take a few videos to practice using iMovie (as I'd like to make a few short videos during our trip to the States this July). The following is just a practice run for me to figure out how to use the program: please enjoy my mediocre filmmaking!


I'm also hoping to take some videos in a few weeks, when Ben's younger sister and nephew come to visit us...

That's right, we've got more family visiting Melbourne! The planning was actually all very last-minute. Ben and I were looking up childcare options for my intensive class in May, and the cost of hiring a full-time nanny for over a week was about the same cost as... a plane ticket from the U.S. to Melbourne...?

"We should just ask Saralyn if she'd want to come down to watch Arden for a week if we cover her ticket," said Ben.

"She'll probably laugh and say 'awww, I wish!'" I replied. "But sure, it can't hurt to ask?"

So he did. And she did not laugh. She did not say, "awww, I wish!" She immediately talked to her partner, asked for the time off work, applied for her son's first passport, looked at tickets... and they're officially coming in two weeks! Arden gets to bond with her auntie and sweet 6-year old cousin, they get to see Melbourne, and I have some peace of mind in leaving the baby with loving family for the week. Yay!

Ben is incredibly excited that some of his family can finally make the trip. My mom has stayed with us twice, but other members of our families haven't been able to (yet?) for reasons such as finances, health issues, fear-of-flying and other priorities. All understandable, but we always love hosting family (and friends, and even random acquaintances from college!) while we're still living in Australia. We love showing people around Melbourne. And Arden loves meeting her family, while sleeping really well during their visits.

Right, sweetie?

CK

easter adventures.

This past weekend was Easter, which in Australia means I get a 4-day weekend! Every year we have grand ideas of taking a trip during this long weekend, whether it be Sydney, Hobart, or Uluru, but every year those ideas always fall through. Last year our plan was Sydney, but by that point little Arden had begun the process of slowly sucking away all of Candice's energy (like a dementor, but much cuter) and she also felt like she was on a never ending journey across the Tasman Sea. But we still managed to get out and explore this beautiful country.

This year we settled on Hobart as the destination, as it's a very short plane ride away and a small enough city that we could easily explore it in 3 days. But then the sleep regression hit, and the flights and hotels were looking too expensive, so we again made the decision to postpone our trip to another time. After having seen Wilson's Prom last year, how were we going to top that this year? Fairy trees and bats, that's how!

On Good Friday almost nothing is open, so we decided to wander around the city and wound up finding our way to Treasury Gardens. It's a bit sad that we've never been there before, considering it's technically in the CBD, but because we live in Docklands we almost always end up walking around here or down Southbank, and hardly ever make it to the east side of the CBD. Treasury Gardens is pretty small, but they have a beautiful JFK memorial fountain/pond that was a perfect place to spend a relaxing afternoon. There are leafy trees providing plenty of shade, little fountains and a waterfall, and there were even baby ducklings swimming in the pond. It was another place to add to our list of great places to feed Arden (we love taking breaks in beautiful spots to feed her, so we can enjoy the scenery and fresh air while she has her meal).

JFK memorial pond

A few months ago, my co-worker had told me about the flying-foxes (aka giant bats with cute fox-like faces) colony along the Yarra River near Kew. I did some research and found out how to get there, and on Saturday we headed off to see them. We made a pit stop at our favourite cafe in Kew, Percy's Aeroplane cafe, to grab a coffee and the most delicious nutella doughnut I've ever had.

After a nice 30 minute stroll, we found our way to Bell Bird Park, and looked around in amazement at the thousands of bats surrounding the river. When we first arrived in Australia we had been amazed when we saw one of the bats in a park in Kew, but now we were looking on tens of thousands of bats. It was awesome. According to an informational sign near the lookout, the flying-foxes used to roost seasonally in the Royal Botanic Gardens, then established a permanent colony in the gardens in 1986. Growing populations led to concerns about the impact the flying-foxes would have on the gardens, so they were successfully relocated to Yarra Bend Park in 2003, where they have remained since. I can't imagine how they managed to relocate 30,000 flying-foxes without them returning to the gardens, especially when we can't even get Arden to nap on her own.

Yarra Bend Park

We took a bunch of pictures, a few short videos of them screeching and snoring, and settled down at the viewing platform for a snack. Candice was a bit concerned about them coming and attacking us, but since we didn't have any juicy fruit (they love that gum) I wasn't too worried. It's hard to believe that one of the largest flying fox colonies in the world is just nestled in the suburbs of Melbourne, and that we'd been here for over 2 years and never seen it. It reminded us a bit of Raymond Island, with its huge koala population - a place many people have never heard of, where you can see large quantities of awesome Australian wildlife.

Easter Sunday we decided to take Arden to church for the first time. We had found a church shortly after moving here, but had only gone for a couple months before I was on the road all the time and before we knew it almost 2 years had gone by since our last visit. All in all, it was a pretty successful first service for Arden. She was entertained by the music and watching all the people coming in, then got fussy during the sermon (insert witty joke here) so I took her to the side and rocked her to sleep for the rest of the service. We were a bit jealous of the other babies who were content to sleep in their prams, but that has never been Arden. After church we were able to reconnect with our good friends Cindy and David and their two boys, and had lunch with them and some other families while talking about the joys and struggles of raising a baby.

Arden's first church service!

Arden in her pretty Easter outfit!

Monday was Daddy-daughter morning, so Mommy could have some time to breathe and relax. Candice was a bit worried at first (and so was I truthfully) as when I loaded Arden up she was screaming and writhing around. Fortunately, Arden loves being outside so as soon as we left the building she was happy as can be. We took a nice walk around our neighbourhood, while she mostly slept in her Ergo, and I did a bit of shopping at Harbour Town. I then fed her a bottle (she's getting better and better, yay!) and bought a couple things before heading back home. It was great, and so nice to be able to have some one-on-one time with her. I also really enjoy feeding her a bottle, as she loves wrapping her little hands around my thumbs and holding them the entire time she is drinking. It's one of so many things I love about her.

Later in the afternoon we decided to explore Fitzroy Gardens, which is right next to Treasury Gardens, and another place we had never visited. On the way there we met a Mom and her two kids, and the little girl ran up to the pram to greet Arden and exclaimed "hello baby!" The kids then proceeded to chat with us for a while until they headed off in a different direction, with the little boy telling us he knew a shortcut to get to the dragon slide. Dragon slide? Sounds like my kind of park!Fitzroy Gardens is really beautiful. We visited the dolphin fountain, the fountain of the river god, saw the dragon slide in the kids playground, a fairy tree, and stumbled randomly upon the mini Tudor Village (a gift from the city of Lambeth, England in appreciation of food that was donated from Victoria during food shortages after World War II). Arden was awake the whole time, checking out everything with her usual puffy cheek stare. It was a great way to finish our long weekend together.

dolphin fountain

mini Tudor village

fairy tree

Our weekend walks to new areas of Melbourne gave us a renewed appreciation for how much there is to see here, and how little we have seen. It's inspired us to branch out a bit more, to search out other parks, walks and interesting attractions to visit and explore. We don't know how long we will be here, but we love this city and want to be able to say that we saw and experienced as much of it as we could. And since we have a little girl who loves taking in different sights and sounds, now is the perfect time to do it. On to the next adventure!

-BK