holidays. days of holi.

Confession: over the past few years, I've grown a bit cynical about celebrating holidays.

In today's hyper-aware, "woke" and vigilant society, we're all slowly learning that pretty much every major holiday, no matter how non-religious or non-offensive it appears to be, either has its roots in something controversial or has a history of oppressing other people. In the age of the internet, opinions and viewpoints that have long been masked or unheard, are now instrumental in bringing controversy and debate to light, for better or for worse. Certain holidays are now getting knocked off their pedestals in some form (i.e. Columbus Day in some U.S. cities, Australia Day in certain areas).

Take American/Western Christmas, which has always been controversial in some aspect because of its numerous origins, modern consumerism and general over-saturation in popular media.

I grew up in conservative Christian communities that, at the time of my childhood, rejected many of the "secular" aspects of Christmas - Santa, elves, reindeer, etc. Anything that wasn't related to the birth of Jesus was considered the "war on Christmas" (oh how times have changed! and also not really). Christmas trees somehow escaped the ire of this particular viewpoint, so I always had a tree growing up - but I didn't get a stocking until my adult years, when I joined Ben's not-quite-as-religious families.

The same community was also really really not a fan of Halloween. I remember being pulled out of school for Halloween-related activities (crafts, music, parties, costume parades - and for a girl who looooves cosplay, this was really sad!) - so I totally understand that all holidays are complicated. (Disclaimer: I had a very happy childhood! But every generation faces their own controversies, and in the end everyone tries their best - and that's what counts.) So I get why people are discouraged from celebrating events that don't align with their ethnic or cultural identity - whether in fear of conversion or cultural appropriation. People are protective of their world-views, and the world-views of their children.

In many ways, all holidays exclude everyone. Thanksgiving can be offensive to Native Americans and indigenous people around the world. Religious Christmas excludes people who don't identify as Christian, as does secular Christmas because of the title of the holiday and its religious associations. Even the so-called Hallmark holidays such as Mother's and Father's Day have become dark days to many people, due to parents passing away; the deaths or estrangement of children; abortions, miscarriages, fertility issues. Valentine's Day is painful for people in terrible breakups or abusive relationships. And Arbor Day... only time will tell with that one.

So, what's the point of celebrating or observing any of these holidays - days that mean pain for many, and remind others of oppression and historical tragedy?

I don't have any answers. But I do have a toddler now. And I feel like perhaps I need to set aside my cynicism and holiday hopelessness for a little bit. Maybe holidays just exist to give us reasons to look forward to things, to pass the time in a positive way. Most holidays - controversial roots aside - are about hope, tradition, family and most importantly - food. Lots and lots of unhealthy but delicious food.

This Christmas season has been kind of refreshing for me. For the past month, Arden has grown increasingly excited about anything Christmas-related - religious, secular, everywhere in-between. The lights, the banners, the songs. She has no idea what any of them actually represent, but she loves pointing out festive trees, nutcrackers, Santa, baby Jesus, gingerbread men, reindeer, Jingle Bells... all of it. As her parent, it's been such a joy to see her wide-eyed with wonder about these icons and decorations. We took her to her first candlelight church service this Christmas Eve, where she clutched our (battery-operated) candles and waved them around like ground control at an airport, swaying to the different carols. It was pretty magical.

With time, I'm sure Arden will get to know the political and religious nuances when it comes to the history of these holidays. But for now, I want her to have a childhood filled with excitement and celebration, and most importantly respect for many cultures, religions and backgrounds. We're lucky that Melbourne (and particularly our neighbourhood) is a pretty diverse place, one that celebrates and acknowledges a growing number of festivities and festivals throughout the year.

baby Jesus and "Snow White", according to Arden...

A few people from back home have given me some heat about my willingness to observe other cultural holidays that don't necessarily align with Western Christianity. Last year, after getting some criticism about observing the Hindu festival of lights, I reached out to a friend who had grown up in a conservative household and was now living in a southeast Asian country where all holidays are observed and celebrated. I asked her if she was ever given a hard time about her children going to a school where Muslim and Hindu and Christian holidays were celebrated joyfully and equally, and how she felt about holidays like Diwali.

"I love learning about the values in all religions," she replied. "A holiday that celebrates light overcoming darkness? I'll celebrate that!"

I couldn't agree more.

CK

spring 2017 updates.

Arden at her favourite toy store - the one with the animatronic dinosaur.

We had a really nice Spring season this year. Here are some boring updates.

twinsies.

Spring weather in Melbourne is always fun. After a few weeks of record heat in November, a weekend record rainstorm was predicted. There were warnings for residents to stay indoors, stores were putting sandbags in their entryways in anticipation, newspapers printed old photos of the last time a record rainstorm hit Melbourne (like something out of The Day After Tomorrow), and most shockingly of all - our maternal child and health centre cancelled playgroup! What resulted was a fairly significant rainfall on and off, but nothing out of the ordinary. There were places around Victoria that got flooded for sure, but Melbourne itself did not.

On the last day of the predicted "rainstorm of the century" we actually went (lawn) bowling for the first time with some friends. When my friend Ronelle initially invited us to go bowling, I'd pictured something much different (as in, what Australians call "ten pin bowling"), but this was also fun, and didn't involve renting a pair of hideous shoes.

Arden's a natural.

obligatory bowling selfie.

I turned 32, which was very fun. Arden turned two. Also, Thanksgiving came and went without fuss as it's not a celebrated holiday here (and that's how I like it! haha).

birthday brunch!

Arden is still thriving in her swimming and music classes. She gets very excited about going, and likes to "practice" the things she learns on her plush toys at home (helping them swim on their backs or jump into the pool). We recently had to switch locations and teachers for her music class, so she's been a bit shy this term, but she's getting very good at following directions in general, which is really fun to see. Her rhythm is really good, and she loves to "dance" (although usually she prefers being carried by one of us while WE dance, which is exhausting!).

Arden's face right before her "favourite part" of her favourite song (Jewel's "Sammy the Spider") comes on.

Arden recently had her first music "concert", where she (and I) got to "perform" a few actions to songs. She's pretty serious about it. We're very proud.

first blue ribbon!

performing "The Wheels on the Bus"

The Melbourne Maternal and Child Health teams threw a huge playgroup party for kids, which Arden loved. She even sat still long enough to get her face painted, which was pretty cute.

baby's first ink.

Fun fact: every November, Melbourne puts on the Night Noodle Markets - a 2+ week-long festival featuring dozens of Asian-themed food and drink stalls scattered over a picturesque site called Birrarung Marr. And every year we’ve lived here (not counting the first week we arrived in Melbourne), we've coincidentally hosted an American friend and taken them to this event (year one: my college friend Sara; year two: our Seattle friends Zach and Kyara; year three: Ben's cousin TJ).

This year, my college friend Lane was in town for work, and I all but dragged him and his friends to the noodle markets so we could continue our silly streak. Thankfully, they loved it! It's always great to see old friends in Melbourne. Who wants to visit the noodle markets (and us) next November? :)

thanks for hanging out, Lane!

Arden loves noodles.

And finally, this November marks our four-year anniversary of moving to Melbourne! It's still hard to believe how much has changed (and how much hasn't) in four years. We're still living in the same apartment and are still huge fans of the MCU; but we're also four years older, a few accomplishments wiser, and we've multiplied so now there's three of us. It's been a crazy journey, but wonderful just the same. We're grateful for our time here, and will hopefully keep having a great time no matter where we live in the future. :)

Mario and Super Mario.

CK

Also, have you guys seen this show yet? I did not think I'd be a fan, but I'm OBSESSED. Welcome back, Frank. 

video killed the photography addict (kind of).

Confession: I've never been a huge fan of video.

I grew up in the late 80's/early 90's, when videos and photos were... very different things. Photos were always portable, easy to look at and show off, and I liked the variety of presentation (frames, books, collages) and how you could reuse photos for various reincarnations. Videos were cumbersome and complicated - you needed a video cassette (and you had to be kind and rewind!), a working VCR, television, electricity, etc. If you didn't have any of those things, you couldn't watch the video. And back then, video editing was a lot more cumbersome.

But now, videos and photos are both widely viewed on the same platforms: smartphones, tablets, computers. Companies incorporate video into their advertising platforms - billboards and public transit ads are going digital, and social media has embraced video with very open arms. Video is everywhere, and the differences between videography and photography have greatly diminished.

(If you couldn't tell from previous blog posts, I'm now a huge fan of videography. You can visit me on YouTube or vimeo!)

It took a few events to sway me to the dark side of videography: the first was a video journalism class I took as part of my Master's degree, giving me the confidence to start using iMovie when I got a new macbook last year. Also, since Arden has almost always been carried for her naps (yes, still. STILL.), I sometimes watch YouTube videos while carrying her - travel videos, lifestyle vloggers, and mommy vloggers with small children. Video seems to capture kids' personalities much more intricately than photos, and I really wanted to film some of Arden's milestones and little baby quirks, since our modern technology so easily allows us to do so.

During last year's trip to the States, I decided to put my elementary videography skills to use by filming little bits and pieces of our vacation. I made two videos - one for our Washington trip and one for our Hawaii trip - and wrote original music for both of them (see below for my thoughts on music!). And while they're a bit mediocre in quality, I'm really quite proud of them. Since then, I've made four videos from our Australian travels, four more family reunion compilations, and two birthday videos for Arden.

Here are a few random observations I've made about videography:

~The Pros~

-You get the bigger picture. Photos, good photos, capture the peak of the moment - a smile, a frisbee caught in mid-air, a cuddle with a cute puppy. But videos capture the lead-ins and conclusions, the moment as a whole. They also give more context and personality.

-You can be more creative with video. There's a whole world of editing software out there (I use the very simple iMovie at the moment, but will be looking into other programs soon), and you can do a lot with videos. Slideshow-esque montages, vlogs, teaser trailers. This year for Arden's birthday, I got a little ambitious and decided to interview family members about what they like about her - and despite my lack of fancy equipment, it turned out as well as I could have hoped. It was challenging to put together (finding all that b-roll was pretty time-consuming, as well as adding subtitles), but it was one of my favourite projects.

-You get more artistic credit. Back when I was obsessed with mediocre photography and taking high-res photos of everything and nothing, I noticed that no matter how many hours I spent poring through photoshoots and editing and curating cds for family and friends... photographs are really easy for other people to take for granted and take credit for. And the lines are blurry with any form of photographic visual art (if you ask someone to take a group photo, does it become their artistic work? etc.). But with video, it's a lot harder for other people to take credit for your work. It's possible. But, not as casually as it is with photography. It's pretty obvious from my videos that I created them, and I like that.

~The Cons~

-Nobody will watch your videos! I'm kidding. Sort of. But not really. A few people will watch... the first few minutes. Most likely if they are in the video, although not always. Most definitely if they're your parents or something. Some people will "like" or "heart" your social media post without actually watching most of it (two of my friends recently announced a pregnancy at the end of a seven-minute long vacation video - I'm pretty sure most of their social media acquaintances still don't know they're expecting..!).

It's not (really) personal. It's just that a lot more effort is required to experience video, compared to photographs. The viewer needs a good chunk of time (just three minutes is eternity compared to the milliseconds it takes for the human brain to process a vacation selfie), some privacy or lack of distraction, headphones if they want to enjoy the sound in silence. That's just how it is. And even then, most people won't make it to the end. Time is precious. Sure, there are tips and tricks for getting people to watch your entire videos. But here's my one personal tip: if you want to make home vacation videos, make them for yourself - because you're probably the only person who will actually watch them, and more than once.

-Filming is harder than photographing. I think. I'm not a professional anything, but from my experience, it's easier to salvage a terrible photo than a terrible video.

-It takes a lot of effort to make a video. Especially if you're like me, and score your own films and are meticulous about where things line up with the music and chronology and tone and What Is The Overarching Theme?? and all that. My videos are far from perfect, but I have things I'm picky about, and I'll spend hours making sure my own preferences are catered to. Also, videos just take more of everything - time (to film, to edit, to view), and especially data. Just something to keep in mind!

-Very non-instant gratification. Technology is so advanced that people are accustomed to instant access for everything. I can't tell you how many times I've recently seen photos framed and displayed: of cell phone versions of professional photoshoots (weddings, baptisms, etc.). In this day and age, people do not want to wait for paid photographers to edit and curate photos - they want a photo on their iPhone, and they want it now. So, waiting for a curated video of vacation moments (at the very least a few days' worth of work) is like a lifetime compared to that.

-You still need technology to view videos. I will always treasure printed photos more than videos in the end. You know, just in case an electromagnetic pulse brings down every computer and communication system a la 2000's Dark Angel.

~A Word About Music~

When I started making videos, I had no intention whatsoever of writing my own pieces. In fact, I had always planned on using popular songs. So I was pretty bummed to learn that using copyrighted music is a risk for uploading onto video sites, and that it's a lot of work to do it correctly. Your video can be pulled off the internet thanks to copyright detection, and that's that. Even if you're not monetizing. As a songwriter, I am all for this! But... I wish there was a way to easily ask permission from the copyright holder, and pay a reasonable fee to use their song in your video. I really wanted to use Ingrid Michaelson's "Home" for last year's Washington video, and I'm pretty sure she wouldn't have cared. But, to try to contact her and ask for her permission and then somehow contact YouTube with proof of said permission? Not worth it.

But, guess who writes music for free? Me!

A long time ago, I wanted to be a composer for films and videos. That was before I took Music Theory classes in college and did not flunk out, but came pretty darn close a few times (parallel fifths are absolute magic, I don't know what all the fuss is about). I'm obviously not scoring films for a living. So I do it for a hobby.

I've been writing and recording music (mostly pop songs) for almost a decade now, with nothing professionally released - which means I have a lot of older music at my disposal, and none of it will violate YouTube's copyright laws. Most of my video scores are original music created just for that video, but some are new versions of old pieces. Like an old song that had once been a heartfelt ode to an ex-boyfriend, a song that will never resurface in that original form, but a tune that I really kind of liked. And so I redid it as a folky instrumental thing, and it was very fitting for a recent video. And no one has to know about it! Except, I just told you. Oops. (But I won't tell you what video it is, ha!)

~Moving Forward~

With both photography and videography, it's always a challenge to try to be mindful of balancing personal enjoyment with capturing the moment, being present instead of being an artistic director. But I find that as I'm more comfortable with my artistic strengths, I'm better at choosing what moments to enjoy media-free, and which moments to try to film seriously. I film mostly with future-Arden in mind, hoping that she will enjoy seeing her Australian (and American) adventures set to cinematic scores. I also keep our families in mind - since they aren't able to personally witness much of Arden's childhood, videos seem like the next best thing.

I definitely want to continue making videos for our little Australian getaways, and for family reunions. Sometimes I wish I had discovered video editing earlier in my life, like when we took a cruise to New Zealand or spent a few months loitering around small towns in Victoria. But I'm glad I discovered my love of video during Arden's first year - those infant memories are a little more priceless than beautiful sunrises and international travels.

I am in the process of upgrading my equipment (my current camera is a Canon PowerShot ELPH 110 HS, which I got in 2012 and not for the purpose of video at all - but it gets the job done). I should probably use a different program than iMovie, which for some reason has no "save" button (and yes, I've lost entire videos before... this is not fun) nor the ability to work on multiple projects at once. And I should probably (eventually) find a job that lets me put my skills to use for an actual paycheck. Eventually.

To all my friends and family who have watched my videos and support my newest habit, thank you for the encouragement! And I hope you keep enjoying these little glimpses into our lives.

CK

Arden is 2!

Arden is now 2 years old!

Parenting is a role that never ends, but these milestones are a good opportunity for celebrating little accomplishments when we can. I can now proudly say that we successfully raised a baby into toddlerhood!

Arden is pure joy at this age. She loves exploring, learning, singing, reading and playing. Her interests change from day to day, but she's recently taken a liking to dinosaurs, Thomas the train, and drawing with crayons. She has incredible eyesight, spying little insects in the grass and planes from far away, and her sense of rhythm is really good for her age. She loves dressing up (on her birthday, she insisted on changing outfits at least four times before her party...) and is looking forward to getting more hair so she can wear hair clips and pigtails and all that. 

Arden loves walking around the neighbourhood, and is getting better at following instructions - but she still prefers to be carried 90% of the time, which is challenging because we walk everywhere, and she's definitely getting harder to hold as she grows. She still generally dislikes her stroller, although if I'm going for a jog, she sits nicely (with snacks, of course) and shouts "Mama, run!" whenever I slow down or stop for water. I can't really tell if she's a very encouraging child, or if she's become my new bossy personal trainer.

Two is a really interesting age, because now we can finally start reasoning with her and/or bribing her to do things. Which makes some things easier (like giving her medicine, or putting her down to bed at night). But sometimes... I'll offer her animal crackers if she'll let me put a jacket on her, and then tortilla chips if she'll let me put the "prettier" coat on her, and then fruit snacks if she'll just put on the leopard print vest so we can go to swim class because we're running late... and then I feel a bit ashamed. 

Sleep is... a lot better these days. It's not perfect, but much more manageable than when she was an infant. We're now able to put her in her crib awake (after a very very long bedtime routine), which is a welcome change from rocking/nursing her to sleep and gingerly setting her down again and again. Naps are still carried, by me, but it's only once a day now. And I'm sure plenty of other parents carry their toddlers for all their naps, right? It's normal. I'm normal. We're normal... just kidding. This is not normal, but hopefully by her third birthday she'll be capable of napping in her crib...? 

During our visit to the States this summer, I decided to interview our families about their favourite memories of Arden at this age for this year's birthday video:

Arden's reaction to her birthday video.

On Arden's birthday this year, we invited some friends over for an outdoor barbecue (as we did last year), but it was a terribly windy day and we ended up moving the party to our apartment for cake and present-opening. Arden is just starting to get the hang of opening presents, and was fond of all her gifts - especially the bubbles.

bubbles are always a hit.

Happy birthday, sweet girl. Here's to many many more years of chasing after bubbles, pure excitement at seeing puppies and birds, overwhelming joy while dancing to music (or "la-la"), and so many more things to discover and experience.

for Arden's third Halloween, we finally got her a proper costume - Supergirl!

CK

things I (don't) miss about the USA.

This past summer was my third trip (and Ben's fourth) to the USA since becoming American expats in Australia. Even though I feel like I've never mentally left America thanks (or no thanks) to social media, the media, and how "central" the U.S. seems to be to the rest of the world - after each visit I'm reminded of things I miss (and sometimes don't miss) about our fatherland.

-things I miss-

Being understood in public. Look, English may be the official language for both the U.S. and Australia. But with varying accents, slang, unique phrases and alternative spelling, sometimes it might as well be a foreign language. In Melbourne, I've gotten so used to repeating myself twice or thrice when speaking with any form of customer service. I know I'm not the most eloquent English speaker in the world (despite the fact that English is literally the only language I know), so I understand. But... I was in shock when salespeople in Michigan immediately understood that, yes, I'm looking for this shirt in a different size. How neat!

Unhealthy foods. And the massive varieties of them. I probably shouldn't miss this, but I do. Australia has its own issues with unhealthy foods and lifestyles, but the U.S. is hard to top with its sugary breakfast treats, ginormous restaurant entrees that can feed my entire family for weeks, and the mystifying ingredients that make milk and bread last for months. Seriously. In Australia, milk and bread have week-long expiration dates, tops. And you can definitely tell when the expiry date is approaching, because that stuff goes bad really fast - we're talking mould and curdle and weird, weird odours. Which makes you wonder... what on earth does America put in their food for it to last for months..? Yikes.

shelves and shelves of goodness.

It doesn't get much more American than this.

Half and half. I'm sure you can probably find half and half somewhere in Australia, but I have yet to find it. Melbourne does coffee very very well, but I certainly miss my Americanos with room (for half and half), and did not hesitate to order it almost every time I went for coffee somewhere. I also miss good old drip coffee, even though many American households have apparently converted to Keurigs or fancy latte machines. We use a French press at home, but it's such a pain to clean that I've resorted to instant coffee ever since becoming a mother. I know, I'm ashamed too.

heaven.

Buttery movie theatre popcorn. Okay, this probably belongs in the "unhealthy food" category, but American movie theatre butter topping is probably so bad for you that it can't legally be classified as edible. Still. We miss it! So much that I made my dad take me to the movies in Michigan, even though there wasn't anything good playing (or at least really appropriate for the occasion). We saw "Baby Driver," which I enjoyed for the artistic qualities, but my dad did not appreciate as much ("I'm going to have nightmares" I'm pretty sure he said). But hey, buttery popcorn!

Driving (sometimes). I hate driving. Loathe it. I hate being in control of a machine that can easily do a lot of damage. I hate parking. I hate getting gas and car insurance and car maintenance and being lied to by technicians about the state of my car because I don't know anything about what makes it run. I hate being environmentally conscious and deciding to only use my car once a week and take the bus the rest of the time, but having to drive it around the block everyday or else my battery dies, which negates the whole environmentally friendly aspect. I hate having to go above the speed limit because everyone else does and wondering if that yellow light has been yellow for long enough and mindless road rage and

Wait, this is the "things I miss" list, isn't it? Oh, I'm sorry. I got carried away. What I DO miss about driving... is putting in my favourite CDs on my favourite songs (yes, I guess it's been a while since I've driven) and singing along to them at the top of my lungs, because even crappy car stereos are actually pretty good compared to smartphone speakers. Aside from the shower, there are very few places where one can sing unabashedly in this manner. So, I miss car ride music. And making mixes for Ben during our road trips. And taking road trips, I guess.

-things I don't miss-

Actually paying more for stuff. Things are seemingly more expensive in Australia. I've seen packs of Post-It notes go for $20 a piece; alcohol is very pricey especially at dining establishments; makeup prices are a bit catastrophic. However, in Australia - what you see is what you pay. I'm talking about tipping and tax. Not that either of those things shouldn't be paid - but there's the psychological aspect of having to pay more than what is advertised, and it doesn't feel great. In Australia, food service workers get paid a fair(er) wage, and tips are reserved for situations where people go above and beyond, and it's usually just change. I've spent years working in American food service, so I'm familiar with the tipping culture - but it's just a really uncomfortable system that doesn't always benefit the food service workers - or the customers, for that matter. Also, tax is usually included in prices here, which are typically rounded numbers, so you don't need to use

Pennies. Aside from those gimmicky machines at theme parks (do they actually press your penny, or do they have pre-pressed pennies? does anyone know this?), what a waste. Australia does not have pennies. They have $1 and $2 coins, which are like the opposite of pennies.

Self-flushing toilets. A fellow American expat friend recently reminded me about this one. If flushing the toilet is such a waste of water and very terrible for the environment etc etc etc, it makes perfect sense for ALL the toilets in public restrooms to flush violently every time someone opens the door to a stall or moves a limb. Except for... the one moment when a person would actually flush - and then it doesn't flush, and they have to push the manual button anyway, which negates the whole purpose of a self-flushing toilet. Please. Australia has two manual buttons for flushing - one for wee wees and one for BMs and other unmentionables. This makes much more sense.

Driving. I think I accidentally covered this one already. Also, while taking 100% public transport has its definite downsides, I personally like it way more. No parking! And we're automatically more active, having to walk to and from tram stops and train stations, instead of going right from the garage to the parking lot of Denny's. I mean... the grocery store.

Politics. I'll tread carefully here. But I'm pretty sure we can all agree on one thing: last year's election was crazy. And we were very fortunate and glad to not be physically around for any of it.

that's... new.

I guess what I do miss are the in-person, non-political interactions that humanise people who hold viewpoints different from your own. Many people on social media are very... passionate about their causes and beliefs, but when you're only exposed to one facet of a person, it can be overwhelming, even if you totally agree with them. And sometimes you forget about the stuff that made them a good friend in the first place. Having a beer with an old classmate, going for a morning run with friends, visiting houses and swapping toddler-management tips and tricks with fellow parents - all that tangible stuff - is what I miss. Social media is a great tool for keeping in touch... but sometimes at a cost too great to currently understand.

--------------------

Anyway. All that aside, we do miss our family and friends in the States, a lot! And even those silly self-flushing toilets can't keep us from calling the USA our home.

CK

Washington 2017 - Ben's reflections

Infants change so much in a year. Last year for our trip to visit family, Arden was barely able to sit up on her own, had only recently started eating solid food and her babbling was very infrequent. The trip was also really hard on her as she was overwhelmed with meeting so many new people who wanted to hold and snuggle her, and as we wrote about last year, had the unfortunate reaction of bursting into tears when certain people laughed.

This year I was so excited to bring Arden back to Washington and for my family to see her at this age. Candice and I were talking a couple months ago about how one weekend Arden seemed to become a little girl before our eyes. Suddenly she was inventing little games to play with us, her personality and sense of humour were becoming more defined and her desire to do more things on her own was increasing. She is at an age where she loves running around, bossing us around (especially telling us to lay down so she can jump on us or play airplane) and singing constantly. I couldn't wait for my family to see this fun, energetic and loving side of her in person.

For the first few days of the trip we headed down to the Pacific Ocean to stay in our favourite beach town, Seabrook. The traffic was terrible and it took us 8 hours to get there, but thankfully Arden did really well in her car seat. The weather was excellent and it was so nice to be surrounded by Mom's family for the weekend. With both my sisters Saralyn and Lindsay having kids of their own, finding a time when we can all connect is challenging, so the trip was a perfect opportunity to ensure we had lots of family time while enjoying the beauty of the ocean. Arden was a bit slow to warm up to most of the family, but she really loved her Uncle Ryan and even let him hold her a few times. She also loved her older cousins Caiden and Amare, and gave them lots of hugs throughout the trip.

family group photo at Seabrook

Arden and her cousins

a rare cuddle with 3-year old Hudson

The next week we spent a day in Everett visiting our good friends Abbie and Darren and their energetic kids, and also made a stop at the brand new Funko headquarters. It was amazing, full of so many cool pop figures, t-shirts, toys, backpacks and other novelty items. I loved the different themed areas, from the Marvel section, to Star Wars and Disney Princesses to Harry Potter. For all our Washington friends it's definitely worth a visit.

The rest of the week we spent with Arden's Grandpa (whom she called "Gramma" for basically the entire trip) and her Bubbe. Arden warmed to my dad and stepmother immediately, and was so comfortable at their house. She would happily walk around chasing their puppy, Romeo, playing ball or pulling her little toy puppy she got from my stepsister Somer. We also had a great day out on the boat, visited Arden's great-grandparents and had a big family party/dinner, which was a blast. One of our highlights of the trip was when Dad and Sarri offered to watch Arden for the evening so Candice and I could go out for a nice dinner. We had an excellent dinner at Saltwater in Langley and are so thankful for them giving us a little date night. We even came home to find they had put her to sleep too, which almost never happens when we go out.

all dressed up for boating!

Arden took her dog-walking job very seriously.

three-generation hug.

family dinner at Dad's

Towards the end of the trip we spent a relaxing day on Whidbey with Mom, Saralyn, Ryan and Amare and took the opportunity to do a small memorial for my Grandma Sally (Arden's Gigi). Mom purchased a beautiful niche for her ashes at a cemetery in Coupeville that's up on a hill overlooking rolling farmland with the Cascade Mountains in the background. We miss you Gigi but know you are smiling down on us and are so thankful Arden was able to meet you last year.

The last few days of our trip were spent connecting with friends and visiting a few places we miss, like Green Lake and the UW area. We had a big friend gathering (a huge thanks to Tara & Nathanael for hosting) and it was a reminder of how much things have changed as so many of our friends have kids now too. It also reminded us of how the best friendships continue on despite the many miles that separate us, and how an evening spent together can make it feel as if no time has passed since we were all together over a year ago.

walking along Green Lake

Our last night we had a nice family dinner at Lindsay's house. By that point Arden was fully settled in and finally let Lindsay hold her, which was really special, as most of the trip all she wanted were her Uncle Ryans. It was sad to say goodbye but we are so thankful for such a wonderful trip and a great time reconnecting with family and friends.

Arden and her aunties!

Thank you to our families for hosting us, for all the laughs, hugs and for making all the time for us. Thank you to our friends for making the effort to travel to see us. It was so fun to see Arden warm up well to family during this visit, and for everyone to get to see her fun personality. She really loved the time with family and we can't wait for our next trip to visit again.

-BK

Washington 2017 - Candice's reflections

Travel does not exist without home... If we never return to the place we started, we would just be wandering, lost. Home is a reflecting surface, a place to measure our growth and enrich us after being infused with the outside world.  

-Josh Gates 

Probably the most striking thing I noticed during this visit was how tall and strong the trees are in Washington. Southern Australia is, of course, a very different environment (and there is great history here too) - but we've spent the last four years in a neighbourhood where almost everything is relatively young. New buildings and business locations appear every month, new restaurants and cafes open (and close) in very short time spans. Everything here seems... temporary. Which is how we've always viewed our time in Australia as well.

But in Washington, there are roots in the nature. Roots that grow deep, for better or for worse. There is history in the landscape, there are traditions, there are generations upon generations of stories.

That was what I kept thinking about during our time in Washington this year, as we took our almost-2-year-old daughter back home to visit her paternal relatives.

I've said it before - I was neither born nor raised in the state, but because all my time living in Seattle was linked to my relationship with Ben, I do feel like it's "home" now. And it's almost always the place I give when strangers ask where I'm from in the USA. No offence to Michigan or New Jersey at all - but it no longer feels genuine to say that I'm from the Midwest or East Coat.

This year, we spent the majority of time on Whidbey Island, dividing our stay between Ben's two parental households, and spending a few days at Pacific Beach for a Labor Day vacation with his mom and sisters' families. Two weeks is never enough for a trip to Washington, but this year we tried to be better at spending more quality time with family, as the end of the summer is always a challenging time to navigate schedules.

on a morning run with my sisters-in-law.

gorgeous sunrise at Pacific Beach.

This year we were able to meet up with my good friend Kathleen and her family - they drove all the way to Pacific Beach from Eugene, Oregon just for a quick meal at our rental house! It was wonderful to see them and for our little girls to play together.

We also visited a few of our favourite places in Seattle - the University Village and Green Lake, primarily - and spent a day in Everett running some errands and visiting friends Abbie and Darren, who just had their third (!!) baby.

with Abbie and her three kids!

at Green Lake with my Green Lake t-shirt. smooth.

Our friends Tara and Nathanael also graciously hosted an open house for our friends, as we didn't have enough time to make individual visits with everyone. Many of our friends have kids around the same age as Arden, so it was fun to see them interacting together, sometimes chasing each other around the room and playing with toys together. Our friends Zach and Kyara (the ones who visited us when Arden was two weeks old!) just had a little baby themselves, who Arden was delighted to meet.

Arden and Declan.

It was a little strange going right from three weeks in Michigan without Ben, to a very condensed and busy visit to Washington with Ben and his family. Fortunately, Arden had no problems adjusting back to life with her Dada. And even though she missed her Michigan family, she quickly warmed up to most of her Washington family, holding her Mimi's hand and asking her "Auntie Say-yo" (Auntie Saralyn) to hold her on her lap. She especially loved her cousins and uncles, and was so excited to pet and chase around some of the family dogs.

Arden and her cousins at the beach. 

Throughout our entire USA tour, it was really neat seeing Arden fit into the various contexts of families, holding unique but similar roles in their lives: grandchild (one of four, one of two, the only one - and the sole granddaughter for all), niece, cousin, great-grandchild.

While Arden mostly recognises everyone's faces from photos and video chats, she also just internally knows that these people are Important to us, that these are relations by blood and marriage and history and friendship, that she belongs in each of these family circles and subcultures without hesitation. She is well aware of the roots we come from, roots that we continue to nurture as much as we can, even from clear across the globe.

Thanks to all our friends and family for hosting us, making the trips to see us, and showering Arden with love and warm memories. We'll see you again soon!

CK