things I (don't) miss about the USA.

This past summer was my third trip (and Ben's fourth) to the USA since becoming American expats in Australia. Even though I feel like I've never mentally left America thanks (or no thanks) to social media, the media, and how "central" the U.S. seems to be to the rest of the world - after each visit I'm reminded of things I miss (and sometimes don't miss) about our fatherland.

-things I miss-

Being understood in public. Look, English may be the official language for both the U.S. and Australia. But with varying accents, slang, unique phrases and alternative spelling, sometimes it might as well be a foreign language. In Melbourne, I've gotten so used to repeating myself twice or thrice when speaking with any form of customer service. I know I'm not the most eloquent English speaker in the world (despite the fact that English is literally the only language I know), so I understand. But... I was in shock when salespeople in Michigan immediately understood that, yes, I'm looking for this shirt in a different size. How neat!

Unhealthy foods. And the massive varieties of them. I probably shouldn't miss this, but I do. Australia has its own issues with unhealthy foods and lifestyles, but the U.S. is hard to top with its sugary breakfast treats, ginormous restaurant entrees that can feed my entire family for weeks, and the mystifying ingredients that make milk and bread last for months. Seriously. In Australia, milk and bread have week-long expiration dates, tops. And you can definitely tell when the expiry date is approaching, because that stuff goes bad really fast - we're talking mould and curdle and weird, weird odours. Which makes you wonder... what on earth does America put in their food for it to last for months..? Yikes.

shelves and shelves of goodness.

It doesn't get much more American than this.

Half and half. I'm sure you can probably find half and half somewhere in Australia, but I have yet to find it. Melbourne does coffee very very well, but I certainly miss my Americanos with room (for half and half), and did not hesitate to order it almost every time I went for coffee somewhere. I also miss good old drip coffee, even though many American households have apparently converted to Keurigs or fancy latte machines. We use a French press at home, but it's such a pain to clean that I've resorted to instant coffee ever since becoming a mother. I know, I'm ashamed too.

heaven.

Buttery movie theatre popcorn. Okay, this probably belongs in the "unhealthy food" category, but American movie theatre butter topping is probably so bad for you that it can't legally be classified as edible. Still. We miss it! So much that I made my dad take me to the movies in Michigan, even though there wasn't anything good playing (or at least really appropriate for the occasion). We saw "Baby Driver," which I enjoyed for the artistic qualities, but my dad did not appreciate as much ("I'm going to have nightmares" I'm pretty sure he said). But hey, buttery popcorn!

Driving (sometimes). I hate driving. Loathe it. I hate being in control of a machine that can easily do a lot of damage. I hate parking. I hate getting gas and car insurance and car maintenance and being lied to by technicians about the state of my car because I don't know anything about what makes it run. I hate being environmentally conscious and deciding to only use my car once a week and take the bus the rest of the time, but having to drive it around the block everyday or else my battery dies, which negates the whole environmentally friendly aspect. I hate having to go above the speed limit because everyone else does and wondering if that yellow light has been yellow for long enough and mindless road rage and

Wait, this is the "things I miss" list, isn't it? Oh, I'm sorry. I got carried away. What I DO miss about driving... is putting in my favourite CDs on my favourite songs (yes, I guess it's been a while since I've driven) and singing along to them at the top of my lungs, because even crappy car stereos are actually pretty good compared to smartphone speakers. Aside from the shower, there are very few places where one can sing unabashedly in this manner. So, I miss car ride music. And making mixes for Ben during our road trips. And taking road trips, I guess.

-things I don't miss-

Actually paying more for stuff. Things are seemingly more expensive in Australia. I've seen packs of Post-It notes go for $20 a piece; alcohol is very pricey especially at dining establishments; makeup prices are a bit catastrophic. However, in Australia - what you see is what you pay. I'm talking about tipping and tax. Not that either of those things shouldn't be paid - but there's the psychological aspect of having to pay more than what is advertised, and it doesn't feel great. In Australia, food service workers get paid a fair(er) wage, and tips are reserved for situations where people go above and beyond, and it's usually just change. I've spent years working in American food service, so I'm familiar with the tipping culture - but it's just a really uncomfortable system that doesn't always benefit the food service workers - or the customers, for that matter. Also, tax is usually included in prices here, which are typically rounded numbers, so you don't need to use

Pennies. Aside from those gimmicky machines at theme parks (do they actually press your penny, or do they have pre-pressed pennies? does anyone know this?), what a waste. Australia does not have pennies. They have $1 and $2 coins, which are like the opposite of pennies.

Self-flushing toilets. A fellow American expat friend recently reminded me about this one. If flushing the toilet is such a waste of water and very terrible for the environment etc etc etc, it makes perfect sense for ALL the toilets in public restrooms to flush violently every time someone opens the door to a stall or moves a limb. Except for... the one moment when a person would actually flush - and then it doesn't flush, and they have to push the manual button anyway, which negates the whole purpose of a self-flushing toilet. Please. Australia has two manual buttons for flushing - one for wee wees and one for BMs and other unmentionables. This makes much more sense.

Driving. I think I accidentally covered this one already. Also, while taking 100% public transport has its definite downsides, I personally like it way more. No parking! And we're automatically more active, having to walk to and from tram stops and train stations, instead of going right from the garage to the parking lot of Denny's. I mean... the grocery store.

Politics. I'll tread carefully here. But I'm pretty sure we can all agree on one thing: last year's election was crazy. And we were very fortunate and glad to not be physically around for any of it.

that's... new.

I guess what I do miss are the in-person, non-political interactions that humanise people who hold viewpoints different from your own. Many people on social media are very... passionate about their causes and beliefs, but when you're only exposed to one facet of a person, it can be overwhelming, even if you totally agree with them. And sometimes you forget about the stuff that made them a good friend in the first place. Having a beer with an old classmate, going for a morning run with friends, visiting houses and swapping toddler-management tips and tricks with fellow parents - all that tangible stuff - is what I miss. Social media is a great tool for keeping in touch... but sometimes at a cost too great to currently understand.

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Anyway. All that aside, we do miss our family and friends in the States, a lot! And even those silly self-flushing toilets can't keep us from calling the USA our home.

CK