holidays. days of holi.

Confession: over the past few years, I've grown a bit cynical about celebrating holidays.

In today's hyper-aware, "woke" and vigilant society, we're all slowly learning that pretty much every major holiday, no matter how non-religious or non-offensive it appears to be, either has its roots in something controversial or has a history of oppressing other people. In the age of the internet, opinions and viewpoints that have long been masked or unheard, are now instrumental in bringing controversy and debate to light, for better or for worse. Certain holidays are now getting knocked off their pedestals in some form (i.e. Columbus Day in some U.S. cities, Australia Day in certain areas).

Take American/Western Christmas, which has always been controversial in some aspect because of its numerous origins, modern consumerism and general over-saturation in popular media.

I grew up in conservative Christian communities that, at the time of my childhood, rejected many of the "secular" aspects of Christmas - Santa, elves, reindeer, etc. Anything that wasn't related to the birth of Jesus was considered the "war on Christmas" (oh how times have changed! and also not really). Christmas trees somehow escaped the ire of this particular viewpoint, so I always had a tree growing up - but I didn't get a stocking until my adult years, when I joined Ben's not-quite-as-religious families.

The same community was also really really not a fan of Halloween. I remember being pulled out of school for Halloween-related activities (crafts, music, parties, costume parades - and for a girl who looooves cosplay, this was really sad!) - so I totally understand that all holidays are complicated. (Disclaimer: I had a very happy childhood! But every generation faces their own controversies, and in the end everyone tries their best - and that's what counts.) So I get why people are discouraged from celebrating events that don't align with their ethnic or cultural identity - whether in fear of conversion or cultural appropriation. People are protective of their world-views, and the world-views of their children.

In many ways, all holidays exclude everyone. Thanksgiving can be offensive to Native Americans and indigenous people around the world. Religious Christmas excludes people who don't identify as Christian, as does secular Christmas because of the title of the holiday and its religious associations. Even the so-called Hallmark holidays such as Mother's and Father's Day have become dark days to many people, due to parents passing away; the deaths or estrangement of children; abortions, miscarriages, fertility issues. Valentine's Day is painful for people in terrible breakups or abusive relationships. And Arbor Day... only time will tell with that one.

So, what's the point of celebrating or observing any of these holidays - days that mean pain for many, and remind others of oppression and historical tragedy?

I don't have any answers. But I do have a toddler now. And I feel like perhaps I need to set aside my cynicism and holiday hopelessness for a little bit. Maybe holidays just exist to give us reasons to look forward to things, to pass the time in a positive way. Most holidays - controversial roots aside - are about hope, tradition, family and most importantly - food. Lots and lots of unhealthy but delicious food.

This Christmas season has been kind of refreshing for me. For the past month, Arden has grown increasingly excited about anything Christmas-related - religious, secular, everywhere in-between. The lights, the banners, the songs. She has no idea what any of them actually represent, but she loves pointing out festive trees, nutcrackers, Santa, baby Jesus, gingerbread men, reindeer, Jingle Bells... all of it. As her parent, it's been such a joy to see her wide-eyed with wonder about these icons and decorations. We took her to her first candlelight church service this Christmas Eve, where she clutched our (battery-operated) candles and waved them around like ground control at an airport, swaying to the different carols. It was pretty magical.

With time, I'm sure Arden will get to know the political and religious nuances when it comes to the history of these holidays. But for now, I want her to have a childhood filled with excitement and celebration, and most importantly respect for many cultures, religions and backgrounds. We're lucky that Melbourne (and particularly our neighbourhood) is a pretty diverse place, one that celebrates and acknowledges a growing number of festivities and festivals throughout the year.

baby Jesus and "Snow White", according to Arden...

A few people from back home have given me some heat about my willingness to observe other cultural holidays that don't necessarily align with Western Christianity. Last year, after getting some criticism about observing the Hindu festival of lights, I reached out to a friend who had grown up in a conservative household and was now living in a southeast Asian country where all holidays are observed and celebrated. I asked her if she was ever given a hard time about her children going to a school where Muslim and Hindu and Christian holidays were celebrated joyfully and equally, and how she felt about holidays like Diwali.

"I love learning about the values in all religions," she replied. "A holiday that celebrates light overcoming darkness? I'll celebrate that!"

I couldn't agree more.

CK