Infants change so much in a year. Last year for our trip to visit family, Arden was barely able to sit up on her own, had only recently started eating solid food and her babbling was very infrequent. The trip was also really hard on her as she was overwhelmed with meeting so many new people who wanted to hold and snuggle her, and as we wrote about last year, had the unfortunate reaction of bursting into tears when certain people laughed.
This year I was so excited to bring Arden back to Washington and for my family to see her at this age. Candice and I were talking a couple months ago about how one weekend Arden seemed to become a little girl before our eyes. Suddenly she was inventing little games to play with us, her personality and sense of humour were becoming more defined and her desire to do more things on her own was increasing. She is at an age where she loves running around, bossing us around (especially telling us to lay down so she can jump on us or play airplane) and singing constantly. I couldn't wait for my family to see this fun, energetic and loving side of her in person.
For the first few days of the trip we headed down to the Pacific Ocean to stay in our favourite beach town, Seabrook. The traffic was terrible and it took us 8 hours to get there, but thankfully Arden did really well in her car seat. The weather was excellent and it was so nice to be surrounded by Mom's family for the weekend. With both my sisters Saralyn and Lindsay having kids of their own, finding a time when we can all connect is challenging, so the trip was a perfect opportunity to ensure we had lots of family time while enjoying the beauty of the ocean. Arden was a bit slow to warm up to most of the family, but she really loved her Uncle Ryan and even let him hold her a few times. She also loved her older cousins Caiden and Amare, and gave them lots of hugs throughout the trip.
family group photo at Seabrook
Arden and her cousins
a rare cuddle with 3-year old Hudson
The next week we spent a day in Everett visiting our good friends Abbie and Darren and their energetic kids, and also made a stop at the brand new Funko headquarters. It was amazing, full of so many cool pop figures, t-shirts, toys, backpacks and other novelty items. I loved the different themed areas, from the Marvel section, to Star Wars and Disney Princesses to Harry Potter. For all our Washington friends it's definitely worth a visit.
The rest of the week we spent with Arden's Grandpa (whom she called "Gramma" for basically the entire trip) and her Bubbe. Arden warmed to my dad and stepmother immediately, and was so comfortable at their house. She would happily walk around chasing their puppy, Romeo, playing ball or pulling her little toy puppy she got from my stepsister Somer. We also had a great day out on the boat, visited Arden's great-grandparents and had a big family party/dinner, which was a blast. One of our highlights of the trip was when Dad and Sarri offered to watch Arden for the evening so Candice and I could go out for a nice dinner. We had an excellent dinner at Saltwater in Langley and are so thankful for them giving us a little date night. We even came home to find they had put her to sleep too, which almost never happens when we go out.
all dressed up for boating!
Arden took her dog-walking job very seriously.
three-generation hug.
family dinner at Dad's
Towards the end of the trip we spent a relaxing day on Whidbey with Mom, Saralyn, Ryan and Amare and took the opportunity to do a small memorial for my Grandma Sally (Arden's Gigi). Mom purchased a beautiful niche for her ashes at a cemetery in Coupeville that's up on a hill overlooking rolling farmland with the Cascade Mountains in the background. We miss you Gigi but know you are smiling down on us and are so thankful Arden was able to meet you last year.
The last few days of our trip were spent connecting with friends and visiting a few places we miss, like Green Lake and the UW area. We had a big friend gathering (a huge thanks to Tara & Nathanael for hosting) and it was a reminder of how much things have changed as so many of our friends have kids now too. It also reminded us of how the best friendships continue on despite the many miles that separate us, and how an evening spent together can make it feel as if no time has passed since we were all together over a year ago.
walking along Green Lake
Our last night we had a nice family dinner at Lindsay's house. By that point Arden was fully settled in and finally let Lindsay hold her, which was really special, as most of the trip all she wanted were her Uncle Ryans. It was sad to say goodbye but we are so thankful for such a wonderful trip and a great time reconnecting with family and friends.
Arden and her aunties!
Thank you to our families for hosting us, for all the laughs, hugs and for making all the time for us. Thank you to our friends for making the effort to travel to see us. It was so fun to see Arden warm up well to family during this visit, and for everyone to get to see her fun personality. She really loved the time with family and we can't wait for our next trip to visit again.
Travel does not exist without home... If we never return to the place we started, we would just be wandering, lost. Home is a reflecting surface, a place to measure our growth and enrich us after being infused with the outside world.
-Josh Gates
Probably the most striking thing I noticed during this visit was how tall and strong the trees are in Washington. Southern Australia is, of course, a very different environment (and there is great history here too) - but we've spent the last four years in a neighbourhood where almost everything is relatively young. New buildings and business locations appear every month, new restaurants and cafes open (and close) in very short time spans. Everything here seems... temporary. Which is how we've always viewed our time in Australia as well.
But in Washington, there are roots in the nature. Roots that grow deep, for better or for worse. There is history in the landscape, there are traditions, there are generations upon generations of stories.
That was what I kept thinking about during our time in Washington this year, as we took our almost-2-year-old daughter back home to visit her paternal relatives.
I've said it before - I was neither born nor raised in the state, but because all my time living in Seattle was linked to my relationship with Ben, I do feel like it's "home" now. And it's almost always the place I give when strangers ask where I'm from in the USA. No offence to Michigan or New Jersey at all - but it no longer feels genuine to say that I'm from the Midwest or East Coat.
This year, we spent the majority of time on Whidbey Island, dividing our stay between Ben's two parental households, and spending a few days at Pacific Beach for a Labor Day vacation with his mom and sisters' families. Two weeks is never enough for a trip to Washington, but this year we tried to be better at spending more quality time with family, as the end of the summer is always a challenging time to navigate schedules.
on a morning run with my sisters-in-law.
gorgeous sunrise at Pacific Beach.
This year we were able to meet up with my good friend Kathleen and her family - they drove all the way to Pacific Beach from Eugene, Oregon just for a quick meal at our rental house! It was wonderful to see them and for our little girls to play together.
We also visited a few of our favourite places in Seattle - the University Village and Green Lake, primarily - and spent a day in Everett running some errands and visiting friends Abbie and Darren, who just had their third (!!) baby.
with Abbie and her three kids!
at Green Lake with my Green Lake t-shirt. smooth.
Our friends Tara and Nathanael also graciously hosted an open house for our friends, as we didn't have enough time to make individual visits with everyone. Many of our friends have kids around the same age as Arden, so it was fun to see them interacting together, sometimes chasing each other around the room and playing with toys together. Our friends Zach and Kyara (the ones who visited us when Arden was two weeks old!) just had a little baby themselves, who Arden was delighted to meet.
Arden and Declan.
It was a little strange going right from three weeks in Michigan without Ben, to a very condensed and busy visit to Washington with Ben and his family. Fortunately, Arden had no problems adjusting back to life with her Dada. And even though she missed her Michigan family, she quickly warmed up to most of her Washington family, holding her Mimi's hand and asking her "Auntie Say-yo" (Auntie Saralyn) to hold her on her lap. She especially loved her cousins and uncles, and was so excited to pet and chase around some of the family dogs.
Arden and her cousins at the beach.
Throughout our entire USA tour, it was really neat seeing Arden fit into the various contexts of families, holding unique but similar roles in their lives: grandchild (one of four, one of two, the only one - and the sole granddaughter for all), niece, cousin, great-grandchild.
While Arden mostly recognises everyone's faces from photos and video chats, she also just internally knows that these people are Important to us, that these are relations by blood and marriage and history and friendship, that she belongs in each of these family circles and subcultures without hesitation. She is well aware of the roots we come from, roots that we continue to nurture as much as we can, even from clear across the globe.
Thanks to all our friends and family for hosting us, making the trips to see us, and showering Arden with love and warm memories. We'll see you again soon!
Arden and I had a lovely time in Grand Rapids, Michigan this August. Here's how it went!
-The Travel-
(This was all my mom's idea, by the way.)
Arden and I flew nonstop from Melbourne to L.A., where my mom met up with us and flew us in to Grand Rapids via Detroit. So, for this trip I only needed to do one 14-hour flight solo with Arden. And what a flight it was! The first 7 hours were very... manageable. All my solo-parenting tricks were working - the fresh fruit I brought for her to snack on (instead of all processed snacks); her favourite books I had hidden from her a few weeks prior and "surprised her" with; some brand new toys I also surprised her with mid-flight; and yes, breastfeeding.
pre-flight selfie.
The last 7 hours, however, were very... not manageable. Arden missed both her Australian-timezone nap and her bedtime and was very, very overtired. There was screaming. Inconsolable shrieking. Writhing around like a wild mackerel. And during the whole 14-hour flight, there was one nap - a 20 MINUTE NAP. Random passengers approached us in the aisle asking me if there was "ANYTHING we can do?? anything??" But. Nobody kicked us off the flight or threatened to send Arden to foster care or any of the other airline vs. mommy nightmares that dominate the headlines these days. I didn't even see any looks of disgust or frustration from neighbouring passengers (not that I was really looking anyone in the eye, ha). So, it was a success! We made it to L.A. where my mom graciously worked her grandma magic. And of course, Arden was an angel for the next two flights to Grand Rapids.
Arden and I after the long international flight. Don't we look thrilled?
-Wait, Why Wasn't Ben There?-
This year's trip to the USA was a bit different. Instead of all three of us making the rounds together, we decided to split up the visit into two parts - Arden and I spending three weeks in Michigan with my family, then joining Ben for two weeks in Washington to visit his family and some of our friends.
It made more sense for me to spend a significant time with my family alone with Arden, as Ben only gets so much vacation time and we wanted to make sure he was able to spend all of it with his family (which is by default more people, in four separate households scattered around Washington, not including extended family). And who knows, someday Ben and Arden might make future trips to Washington without me, depending on our situation - that would only be fair, right? ;)
the Michigan house.
-The Visit-
With over three weeks in Michigan, we were able to go at a pretty relaxed pace. My family took us to all the Grand Rapids highlights at least once: the Children's Museum, Meijer Gardens, the John Ball Zoo, Grand Haven beach, Meijer, various malls, parks and walks around the neighbourhood. We stopped by a rehearsal for one of my mom's choirs, and my parents even planned an "open house" event for people in the community and my family's church to drop by and say hello all at once.
post-open house
Meijer Gardens!
the Japanese garden
baby's first Meijer run!
at the zoo.
"driving" with Uncle Gabe at the children's museum
when at Trader Joe's...
one of my favourite restaurants, Olga's Kitchen. Arden approves.
at Grand Haven beach.
killing time at the mall.
It was fun being in the United States during the North American eclipse. I didn't have any viewing glasses, but I was just happy that Arden woke up in time for me to go outside to see little crescents on the ground. I talked to a few friends who witnessed totality and it sounded amazing! For a country that's felt so divided over the past few years, it was nice to feel some excitement and positive energy from an event that brought people together.
eclipse shadows.
Because we were in town for a while, I decided to arrange a few baby playdates with a few local friends from high school/college, and their offspring. Social media is definitely a great way to keep in touch with old friends, and I was happy for the opportunity to reconnect with people I hadn't seen in years. Also, a few out-of-town friends (who now live in California and Illinois) were actually in Grand Rapids for a family reunion during our visit, so I got to see them a few times! Which was really really awesome.
an unofficial 1811 crew reunion.
Overall, Arden adjusted really well to the time difference, new climate, suburban lifestyle (car seats - a new frontier!) and new faces. But even though Arden was much better at adjusting to new people than she was during our USA visit last year (you know, when she burst into tears every time someone laughed... haha), she still wasn't 100% comfortable around anyone. It took her about a week to warm up to my dad and Gabe, and she was still a little cautious around them until the last few days of the visit (don't get me wrong - she loved being around them, as long as I was holding her!). I think this is mostly because Ben wasn't around, as she adjusted to new surroundings much faster during our Washington trip with both parents present.
Like most grandparents, my parents did spoil Arden a lot, but I can't blame them - Arden knows how to work her charm. I was able to get some good quality time alone, as my parents graciously took her on walks or to playgrounds while I journaled and worked on projects and enjoyed some quiet time.
At the end of our trip, my mom flew with us to Seattle via Detroit. Because she had a long layover before heading back to Grand Rapids on a red eye, we got to have a short visit with Ben's mom and younger sister, who were at the airport to meet us and Ben. We grabbed some coffee at Starbucks while Arden transitioned from one family to the next, catching up and sharing stories about her Michigan visit. It was bittersweet as usual, saying goodbye and hello at the same time.
inter-family reunion at the SeaTac airport!
A huge thank-you to my family for making the trip happen, for the friends who made time to see us, to everyone who stopped to chat for a bit, and to Grand Rapids for giving us some lovely PureMichigan weather. Arden and I had a wonderful time, and we'll be back soon, I'm sure.
