the 2016 holiday gift guide for new(ish) moms.

We're still behind on a lot of blog posts (a weekend trip to Adelaide... a 10k and 5k... life in general). but instead of focusing on those interesting subjects, I'm going to jump ahead to something a little more frivolous (but timely):

A holiday gift guide. For new moms!

The Holidays (Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, Winter Solstice, Yule, The Gregorian New Year, The Lunar New Year, Arbor Day, Independence Day, etc.) are coming up quickly. Also, a bunch of my friends just became moms for the first time. Seriously, I had maybe five friends who were pregnant at the same time and they all delivered their babies within the past two weeks. It got me thinking about early motherhood, and the things I couldn't live without for the past year, things I wish I had known about sooner. So. Here are some practical and thoughtful gift ideas for your new-mom friends and family members and foes.

(And I'm not talking about "coupons for babysitting" or anything like that. I mean, those are essential and you should definitely give them generously. But this list is all about actual physical things that moms can eventually KonMari out of their lives after the frazzled-early-mom-tornado-stages have passed.)

1. Soft (non-zip) sweaters.

Babies feed 24/7. So if you're breastfeeding, you need an easy access wardrobe for the duration of your breastfeeding journey. But even if you're not breastfeeding, soft clothing is surprisingly important. Babies like to nuzzle and snuggle on your chest, but you know what they don't like rubbing their delicate newborn faces against? Zippers. Buttons. Pockets with zippers and buttons. Frills of any sort (now is NOT the time to wear your favourite bedazzled denim blazer). So, take advantage of the "open cardigan" trend, or the ugly sweater fad. Get something comfortable and cute, but not too luxurious or expensive. Because let's be real - for at least the next year, whatever you're wearing is basically a giant burp cloth for your baby. (Hint: floral patterns are terrific at hiding baby barf!)

2. Infinity scarves.

I have an affinity for infinity scarves and it's grown tenfold since having a baby. First of all, they make great casual and easy nursing covers (yes, there are more fancy made-for-nursing shawls/covers out there, but I got by without needing them). A scarf also keeps you warm, especially when it's winter and you're constantly breastfeeding or puttering about in the middle of the night sterilising bottles and whatnot. Scarves hide double chins and those tiny scratch marks on your chest. And they are incredibly versatile as emergency stroller blankets, burp cloths, or even as a giant tissue to wipe away those hormonal tears. I swear by infinity scarves from sportswear companies like Nike and Oiselle.

nursing cover...

...and a blanket. look how tiny Arden was!

3. Slip-on shoes.

When I was pregnant, I eventually got to the point where I couldn't bend over to put on my sneakers, and I was tired of asking strangers to help me lace them up (just kidding). So I waddled on over to a nearby Vans outlet and picked up a pair of hideous leopard print slip-on shoes, because they were the cheapest ones I could find. Postpartum, I was finally able to bend down to tie my favourite shoes - but it just took so much precious time! So the leopard print shoes were my go-to kicks, well past their lifespan. During our July trip to the States, I upgraded to a pair of classic black Vans, and I haven't looked back since.

so. fashionable.

4. Water bottles.

Hydration is important not only for breastfeeding moms, but also for bottle-feeding moms. And also humans, and animals, and plants in general. You can't go wrong with water. For breastfeeding moms I recommend those plastic tumblers with a lid and reusable straw, for those nursing marathon sessions where it's hard to drink from a glass and easy to spill. For everyone else, I highly recommend Vapur bottles for travel - I've sworn by these flexible canisters for years. I hate carrying around a heavy empty water bottle, but this one is light, sturdy (no leaking! just be careful) and it folds up small when you're done. I take one everywhere I go.

I know, it looks like an over-glorified ziploc. but it's sturdy, I promise.

5. Lip balm.

Sometimes, lip balm is the only makeup a new mom has time to apply. I recommend more "natural" products and companies, because new moms are always paranoid about toxic stuff like petrochemicals and parabens and gluten. Burt's Bees wild cherry flavour is one of my current faves. And for more fancy-new-moms, makeup companies like Tarte are cruelty/paraben/toxin-free and taste minty, too.

Bonus Idea: A haircut. Or a haircut package to a nearby salon, if you're not particularly gifted with shears.

I can only speak for myself here, but I was all too eager to say goodbye to my long and luscious hair after a few weeks of experiencing the reality of new motherhood. I was always putting my hair up in a messy knot, so there wasn't a point to having longer-than-ponytail-length hair. Also, it took forever to dry after my weekly shower, and time is everything. Even if your recipient is brave/put-together enough to keep her long locks, I'm sure any mom would love some kind of hair treatment. After motherhood, haircuts go from being a semi-enjoyable chore to a blissful vacation.



So, there you have it. Just a few practical ideas for the new moms in your life. Maybe I'll put together a holiday gift guide for babies sometime in the near future. But no promises. Like I said, we have a lot of catching up to do.

CK

p.s. You can trust me. All opinions are my own. Nobody paid me for any of this. Nobody pays me for anything.

regressions.

Apologies for the infrequent blogging lately. It's not for lack of subject material (we have a lot to catch up on, and hopefully we will... in the next year? ha). It's because our one-year-old baby went from (finally) being a relatively good sleeper... to totally not. For the past few months. Teething? Separation anxiety? Sleep regression #101? Who knows. 

We're back to carrying Arden for all her naps, which is exhausting and frustrating (as some of you may know, a child's naptime in the crib is the cornerstone to preserving a parent's sanity...).  And she doesn't settle back to sleep after her night feedings, so sometimes we're up for hours trying to rock/feed her back to sleep at 2am, 3am, 4am, 5am... I mean, it could be much much worse. (Some would even say that I have the privilege and luxury of being able to carry my baby all day long!) But it could also be better...

And, cultural side note: the advice from Australian friends is once again very different from our American friends/family. In the U.S. everyone I've talked to has suggested letting her cry... even those who are strictly against letting babies "cry it out". But here, our situation is pretty normal, and other parents cater to their children's sleep problems the same way we've been doing.

Anyway. Sleep is such a simple thing, but it's often the difference between a great/good/manageable day - and one where I'm holding a screaming child all day long and trying not to lose my cool, counting down the minutes until Ben gets home from work.

Like last Wednesday, when this happened:

Needless to say, that was not what we wanted to see on Election Day 2016.

(and to clarify... yes, we voted from overseas!)

First of all, some cultural observations: being in Australia for the election was pretty surreal. It's strange to live overseas during big American events in general. There's a difference in the featured subject matter, such as sports during the Olympics (sailing was a huge sport here, but we hardly saw any gymnastics). Also, the time difference means witnessing these events at odd times (like the Superbowl and the Oscars, both on Monday mornings). Watching the election on a Wednesday afternoon was very odd... but also kind of convenient, as the results were finalised by dinnertime as opposed to bedtime. And of course, it's very different (and kind of refreshing) to watch Australian newscasters report the election results, while interviewing Aussies about their opinions. It's quite the experience to see American politics from a different country.

Now, I won't get super political here, but: we are extremely disappointed and very sad for a number of reasons, but especially because of the reported violence and hate crimes targeting vulnerable people and communities in the name of our new President-elect. The whole election season was toxic enough, but the aftermath looks even bleaker.

Everyone is truly divided, even the people we are closest to. The political spectrum in our families ranges from at least one vote for Trump, to another person buying plane tickets to Washington D.C. for a post-inauguration day protest march in January. I'm not sure how our families, our friends, and our nation will recover from all this.

It's a rough time for America, that's for sure.

CK

Arden's first birthday.

And just like that, our baby girl turned one.

I can't believe it's been a year since Arden was born, and we became a family of three. I wouldn't say the year flew by - it was a long year! But it's amazing how much she's grown into her own person - from an intense and hungry newborn; to a cuddly and joyful 6-month old; to a happy, playful and always on-the-go one-year old. 

Arden is now a pro at crawling, loves to pull herself up on things, and always wants to be in the company of her mama and dada. She's pretty cautious about other people (and sometimes gets very clingy and upset when meeting/re-meeting some of our friends, unfortunately!) but loves to watch other babies and children. She likes babbling and singing to herself, clapping and trying to snap, and smiling - a lot. She's finally enjoying solids, like baby puff snacks and mashed banana. Unfortunately sleep is still an issue (long story short, we need to sleep train her again - we can't carry her for naps forever..!), but we'll get there when we get there. And she still prefers being carried to riding in her stroller. 

We spent Arden's birthday enjoying the sunshine, playing at a park and chatting with some family on FaceTime. We dressed her in red, as per the Chinese custom (and because she looks so cute in it!). I felt pretty emotional all day, looking back on our year with her, trying to recall what she was like during her first few days and weeks of life. It's been quite the journey so far.

Happy birthday, Arden. You are amazing, precious, and so very loved.

CK

Arden: Year One from Candice Kortlever on Vimeo.

a weekend in adelaide.

A few months ago when I had a 3-day weekend, we decided to take a little trip to visit Adelaide. Adelaide is a small city of about 1.3 million people located a short 1-hour flight from Melbourne. The perfect stopover for a long weekend.

One of Candice’s friends from college lives in Adelaide, so we met up with him for lunch shortly after we arrived. It was great to meet a local who could take us to the best coffee shop and show us Adelaide’s shining jewels – the Malls Balls.

the "Malls Balls"

The rest of our first day was spent wandering around the city in the rain, exploring Chinatown and the Adelaide Central Market. The next day the sun came out, so we decided to explore the Adelaide Botanic Gardens. When we travel to a new city in Australia, we always love to check out the botanic gardens. They offer a beautiful place to take an afternoon stroll, and occasionally glimpse some unique wildlife. Melbourne has an excellent botanic garden, but I think the Adelaide Botanic Garden is my favourite. From the unique buildings, lush gardens and beautiful lavender arches, we would highly recommend a visit to the gardens if you are ever in Adelaide.

The rest of our time in Adelaide we spent walking along the river, visiting the Adelaide Oval and exploring North Terrace. We had a great time on our visit and hope we have another opportunity to visit Adelaide again.

 -BK Adelaide - September 2016 from Candice Kortlever on Vimeo.

spring 2016 updates.

It's finally Spring in Australia! It's so lovely when it starts getting warmer. We've had some beautiful sun-filled days, and then some very rainy ones recently. But we're from Seattle - we can take it!

a beautiful warm day by the river.

Even though we had an amazing time, our trip to the U.S. was actually pretty traumatising for Arden, and it took about an entire month for her to recover and return to any semblance of a routine. The first few weeks back in Melbourne were pretty rough - but I'm happy to report that she's finally back to her happy, inquisitive self. Just in time for some pretty fun milestones - clapping, waving, dancing... and finally crawling, as of a week ago!

It's been two months since we've posted updates (!), so here's what we've been up to recently:

I've been training for a 10k in October and a 5k in November. Last year when I was pregnant I really missed my favourite city races, so I'm happy to be back on the running bandwagon this year! My sister-in-law Saralyn gave us her old B.O.B. jogging stroller, which Arden and I use a few times a week for morning jogs around the neighbourhood.

Arden thinks mommy is sweaty.

The Rio Olympics were fun to watch and follow. It's always kind of refreshing to watch the Olympics from not-America, as it's a different experience (more coverage on Australian-dominated sports, like sailing and pentathlon-ing!). Arden and I even attended a welcome home parade for the Australian Olympic Team. We got to see some medals up close, hear some inspiring speeches from athletes, and we even made a cameo on the news while the people in front of us got interviewed!

Ben took this photo of us on the afternoon news!

Ben celebrated his first Australian Father's Day this month! It's pretty funny that Mother's Day is the same date in the U.S. and Australia, but Father's Day is different. I believe it's because of the plethora of Australian holidays in mid-June, so the country decided to pick a less-celebrated time of the year to devote to Aussie Dads. We celebrated by going out for brunch, and Arden and I gave Ben a few little presents - like this onesie I made.

We recently visited the Jurassic World exhibit at the Melbourne Museum. Saralyn actually recommended it to us from her visit in May, when she took her 6-year old son and then-6-month old Arden. It was a short exhibit, but super cool! The animatronic dinosaurs were very realistic. Arden thankfully slept through the entire thing (I'm pretty sure she slept through it the first time around - I guess she finds dinosaurs to be pretty boring!).

There's an actual street in the city called Arden Street (fun fact: Arden is actually about to become the name of a whole precinct in the near future!) and I wanted to take some nice photographs of the street signs. I plan on framing a few of them to decorate Arden's room, whenever we have a house. We spent a weekend afternoon walking along the street, and then back to our house via the beautiful Capital City Trail.

Last week was the Mid-Autumn Festival (also known as the Mooncake Festival). We dressed Arden in her little Chinese outfit from her Ahma, and took some photos and videos of her playing with mini-mooncakes. How adorable is our little half-Chinese mooncake?

I recently took Arden to the aquarium for the first time, for a playgroup event. She got to see penguins, sting-rays, sharks, fish, seahorses, an enormous saltwater crocodile that glared menacingly at us, and a lot of rambunctious children running around. I think she was pretty impressed.

And finally, this past weekend we took a trip to Silvan, Victoria for "Dutch Weekend" at the Tesselaar Tulip Festival! Ben is half-Dutch, which makes Arden a quarter... and I lived nine of my years in Grand Rapids, Michigan which means I have a lot of respect for tulips, windmills, wooden shoes and very tall people. Which we saw plenty of, as well as awesome sculptures, fun entertainment, great food, and beautiful weather.  

this is apparently the largest clog in the Southern Hemisphere!

It's been a great season so far, and we're excited for a few more Spring adventures to look forward to. Stay tuned!

CK