my mother's third visit to Melbourne.

My mom easily wins our "most frequent visitor" award, after her third trip to Melbourne this past December! (Previous visits: July 2014, and a year ago when Arden was 2 months old.)

This pre-Christmas visit was a mixture of fun adventures (a weekend trip to Sydney, my Master's graduation, zoo visits, and even high tea - no easy feat with a one-year-old!) and some relaxing days at home, playing with Arden and enjoying some quality three-generation time.

Sydney selfie!

visiting koalas at the zoo.

high tea!

Ben and I were able to have some highly anticipated alone time: long walks, lunches, and even two movies ("Doctor Strange" and "Rogue One"). Last year I was so stressed out about trying to see "The Force Awakens" because Arden wasn't taking a bottle consistently, but this year the worry levels were much lower (Arden is still breastfeeding, but not nearly as frequently). Although we have amazing local friends who have watched Arden for us on multiple occasions, it's still a treat when my mom spends time with us - mostly because she really really wants us to leave Arden with her for some quality Ahma/granddaughter time. If I wasn't still breastfeeding Arden, I might have gone along with her suggestion of me going to Sydney with Ben while leaving her and Arden in Melbourne (!!) - but in hindsight I'm glad we all went together.

Mobility was the most significant difference from previous reunions. 13-month old Arden had just started walking at the beginning of the visit, taking two or three wobbly steps at a time. Two weeks later, she was able to walk from one end of the room to the other! Arden's newfound skill and overall independence meant that she didn't need or want to be held all the time, which was nice. However, toddler-Arden was much more attached to me and Ben, and not impartial like she was as a newborn. Ben and I perfected sneaking out before our date activities, and upon returning home, we were met by Arden frantically crawl/walking to the door, crying because she missed us so.

Sleep in general has been a huge issue for us. Aside from being carried for her naps, Arden takes hours to rock/feed to sleep in the evening and has difficulty settling back to bed after night feedings. But my mom helped a ton during her two-week visit, so we were able to catch up on our sleep and sanity. She carried Arden for almost all her naps, so I could do frivolous things like shower and drink (hot) coffee and jog and write. And there were a few mornings when Arden wouldn't settle back to sleep at 4am, and my mom insisted on rocking her until a more appropriate wake-up time of 8am. That's some intense grandma-dedication right there! (My mom actually wanted us to leave Arden's crib in the guest room so she could take care of her all night, but I drew the line there - it would have been wonderful, but the last thing I wanted was for Arden to develop yet another "sleep crutch" on someone who was only staying for a few weeks...)

I love that my mom is crazy about Arden. She cherishes every detail of my daughter's existence, from her rapidly-growing babble vocabulary (she likes to sing the "mah-na mah-na" song from Sesame Street!), intricate fine motor skills, baby-dance moves, the way Arden's face looks when she's sleeping on our chests. I like hearing about the similarities and differences between Arden and myself (and sometimes my brother) as a baby. My side of the family thinks Arden is a carbon copy of Ben (or, "Ben with a Chinese flavour" as they sometimes say). But there are certain characteristics that definitely come from me: our tiny baby feet, the total lack of putting objects into the mouth, and yes - apparently we share the same pooping face. Yay?

not quite my mini-me, but we're definitely related!

Even though my mom is a seasoned and savvy world traveler, the long journey from Michigan to Melbourne is no picnic. Planning these international trips (including our Hawaiian vacation last July) and making them happen takes a lot of work on her part, but because of this she's gotten to spend the most time with Arden out of our relatives. While we understand that most of our families aren't able to visit due to health issues and other travel priorities, we always appreciate the ones who have been able to make it to Melbourne (including Ben's sister and nephew, and most recently his cousin!).

I am beyond grateful; for all the successful events during the visit, for the effort my mom makes to see us and spend time with Arden, and for these precious multi-generational memories - so different yet so similar.

CK

Sydney - December 2016 from Candice Kortlever on Vimeo.