happy birthday, ben.

I do this thing sometimes, at night before I fall asleep. I know that I'm relatively young and in good health, and that despite some minor quarter-life pains, my body is still intact, healthy and able. I also know that I will not always feel like this. Whether by accident, disease, or old age, my body will eventually start to fall apart. And so I like taking a few minutes out of the day to just enjoy feeling... nothing at all. I think about each general part of my body - my hands, arms, legs, chest, head, lungs, etc - and feel gratitude that none of these body parts are in pain. Of course, there are nights when I have a migraine or cramps or some kind of exercise-injury, and during those times it's hard not to think about the pounding and prodding. But when there is no feeling at all, it's easy to forget that someday, I will long for these moments of quiet perfection. And when those days come, I'll at least know that I didn't take those moments for granted.

Today is Ben's birthday. My husband, partner, best friend, is 30 now - a big milestone, and one that we are celebrating away from his friends and family. In honour of the occasion, I wanted to do something similar to my nightly pain-free gratitude. I want to be thankful for him, and our time together.

I know that many people probably think that our Australian adventures are a big reason why we're happy together. I do love our travels, and we've definitely been having a lot of fun together - but I'd like to think that no matter where we are in the world, we'd be just as content and eager for unique experiences. Love doesn't have to be only in the big, grand moments: hiking in national parks, driving by fields of Australian wildlife, being immersed in cultural festivals, going out for fancy dinner dates. Love is in the little, ordinary moments too: reading books together in bed, doing dishes, playing video games, curling up on the couch watching the Tonight Show, grocery shopping, doing laundry, laying in bed together in the mornings for a few minutes before alarm #2.

What I like about these moments with Ben, is that he is always at peace. He is calm, content, happy, and I love being around him. He is easy to open up to, for many people - not because he just smiles and nods at whatever you say, but because he listens, and most importantly without a trace of judgment. I'm usually not very open with people, for personal reasons, but I can talk all day with Ben. I love our conversations together, from our daily small-talk and whimsical inside jokes, to deeper discussions about media, social issues, abstract ideas, and future planning. Ben makes me feel free, and safe. And he is one of the kindest people I know, with the biggest heart and a genuinely loving soul.

I know that there will be amazing, life-changing experiences ahead, as well as terribly rough times. Ever since the moment we announced our engagement, seasoned married couples have been generous with their warnings and cautious advice about the grand journey that is marriage. Our first year isn't over yet - but I want to remember to acknowledge, and appreciate, these moments of quiet routine.

So, happy birthday Ben! Thank you for being an amazing partner in every aspect, and for your steadfast support. May your 30th year bring you wonderful blessings, joys, and many more adventures. I am ever so grateful for you, for us, and for our life together.

I love you.

CK