Monday, December 30, 2013

our first holiday together alone.

Well it’s finally here, my first holiday away from family.  I’ve spent every Christmas for the past 28 years enjoying the traditions, old and new, that my family has developed through the years, but this 29th year all that changed.  For the first time, Candice and I were solely responsible for deciding how we were going to spend our time, and to begin the process of developing traditions in our new family.  It was an exciting and daunting prospect, full of much hope and ultimately bringing us closer together.

Over the weekend we decided to sit down together and make a list of the things we wanted to accomplish over the holiday.  The first few days leading up to Christmas were looking good, with enough to keep us occupied but not enough for us to be overwhelmed.  We spent the weekend and first part of the week running a few errands, watching holiday movies on TV, looking up recipes to try out together, and exploring a bit of our new neighborhood.




On Christmas Eve the weather took a turn for the better, so we decided to take a trip to the Royal Botanic Gardens.  The gardens are full of flora from all different parts of the world, with different sections dedicated to different regions.  There was a plethora of local Australian plants, but also areas dedicated to the local plants of Southeast Asia and California.  In addition to all the plants, including a vast assortment of cacti (cactuses? cactopods?), we managed to see some local fauna as well.  We spotted kookaburras, ducks, and a black swan, which to our disappointment looked nothing like Natalie Portman.

After our trip to the gardens, we looked up the various Christmas Eve services in town, and found the Brass on the Grass service that caught our attention.  We decided to head over early to make sure we could get in, having no real idea of how big the event would be.  When we showed up 15 minutes early the crowd consisted of about 25 people, and it became instantly clear that this was not the Myer carol special (more on that later).  It turned out to be a really nice little service at a small Lutheran church, consisting of a brass quintet playing carols for 30 minutes, then an official service of carols, scripture readings, and poems read in olde English (which sounds awesome when read aloud in an Australian accent).



Following the service we made our way home to bake Christmas cookies and see what fun holiday specials might be on TV.  Earlier in the day, while making our way to the gardens, we had seen a lot of people camped out in line at the Myer Music Bowl for “Carol’s by Candelight.”  We had no idea what that might be, other than an example of questionable grammar, but it turns out it is the event on Christmas Eve.  It is broadcast nationally across Australia, and is a massive production consisting of popular carols sung by Australia’s biggest music stars.  Part of me was a bit sad that we hadn’t decided to go, but considering people were lined up before noon and the concert didn’t start until 7, I think enjoying it from the comfort of our home was preferable.


I baked and frosted the cookies; Candice accidentally frosted the floor.

On Christmas morning we woke up early to open the few presents we received from my Mom & sisters and our friend Sean, and then talked with my Dad on FaceTime before we headed to the Zoo.  Our local friend Anne had informed us that the Zoo was a great thing to do on Christmas as it wasn’t very crowded and was one of the few things open.  We also discovered that all public transport travel is free on Christmas day, so a trip to the Zoo it was!  The Zoo is pretty comparable to your average large zoo in a major city, and contains much more than we could see in a single day.  So we purchased an annual pass, which gets us into the 3 big Melbourne zoos, and decided to focus our first visit on the local Australian wildlife.  We saw koalas, kangaroos, wallabies, emus, kookaburras, and our first platypus!  It was smaller than we expected, only about a foot long, but was definitely one of the highlights for me. For dinner that night we cooked up a feast of local Australian fish, green bean casserole, and fresh baked bread, and exchanged the little gifts we had gotten for each other.


The next day we celebrated our first ever Boxing Day by connecting with our families on FaceTime, then going shopping!  Boxing Day is a bit like black Friday in the US, in that every store has crazy sales and open early, but it’s in Australia so everyone is much more polite and patient.  We managed to find a few kitchen items we had been looking for, and also checked out the brand new Melbourne Star, which is a giant observation wheel that takes 30 minutes to complete one rotation.  We decided against taking a ride this time, but they do have a nice deal where you can get a ticket to go during the day and again at night for only a few dollars more than a single trip.


Totoro helps us use FaceTime properly.
The rest of the week was spent in a state of relaxation as we enjoyed the time off together, took some trips into the city, watched some movies we checked out from the library, and experimented with more recipes (most of which turned out edible, but it’s obvious that I still have a lot to learn about cooking something other than boxed pasta).  On Saturday the 28th we saw that the weather was going to be in the 90’s, so we took our first trip to the beach.  We went to a beach town suburb of Melbourne called St. Kilda, had a delicious brunch at a little Greek restaurant, then setup our towel on the sand and spent the afternoon sun bathing and doing a bit of swimming in the bay.  It was quite wonderful.


St. Kilda beach
Throughout all this holiday time, we have been continually commenting to each other that it doesn’t feel like the holidays.  I’ve never had a Christmas with warm weather, and in many ways it hasn’t felt like the holidays because I haven’t been spending it with family and friends.  All I know is that despite the distance and despite the sadness we feel to be away from so many people during this season, we have begun to make our own traditions that we can look forward to and build on year after year.  

BK

Friday, December 27, 2013

distance.

My best friend's mother passed away, on Christmas Eve in the States, Christmas morning in Australia. It was sudden, and it is devastating, especially during a time of what is intended to be a worldwide celebration of warmth, joy and family.

It was the first time since the move that I have really felt the great distance between us and our loved ones back in the US. I wanted so badly to be there for Kathleen and her family, and also to spend time with our own families, to be near them after such a tragic reminder of how fragile and precious life is. All throughout Christmas and now, it feels wrong. It feels wrong to celebrate and be happy, wrong to shed tears in sorrow, wrong to be 15,746 kilometers away from where my heart is. 

We are really far away in Melbourne. Of course, we thought it all through when we decided to move here. We knew that we would be missing out on many things: birthdays, holidays, maintaining friendships, children growing. We knew that we would have to make hard decisions about when to come back to visit, due to finances and work and logistics. Two of our dear friends are having weddings within the next year or so, and Ben has been invited to be a Groomsman for one of them. We also need to take into account other life events - if our siblings get married or have babies, if anyone in our family falls ill or passes. Life is very unpredictable, and we can't come back for everything.

My extended family is spread out across the globe - my father's family in Indonesia, and my mother's family in the Philippines and all over the States. Growing up in New Jersey, I missed out on many family milestones and vice versa, but I was still fortunate enough to visit aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents when we had the opportunity. I was taught from an early age to cherish every family reunion because they didn't happen very often, and was reminded that every visit could always be our last time seeing someone, especially the elderly. When my maternal grandfather fell ill with a stroke, I was able to visit him in Manila and say goodbye, a memory that I will always treasure. However, I was not able to attend his funeral service due to timing and logistics, even though I very much wanted to be there. Saying goodbye to him in person was deemed more important than attending his memorial, but it would have been nice to do both. Distance often makes for some very hard choices.

Being in close proximity to each other doesn't necessarily mean closeness in relationships, either. Some families who live minutes or short hours away from each other only visit occasionally, sometimes because of schedules and difference in priorities, sometimes just because. Which is why it's so important to value any time spent with all loved ones, near or far, whether you see them once a year or every day, whether they live on a different continent or just down the street.

We mourn and grieve with those who have experienced great loss, and we remember those who have passed before us. But we also cherish each other, gratefully celebrating the little time we have together on this earth. Life is short, for all of us.

CK

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Sunday, December 22, 2013

christmas season.



Here's a bit of culture shock for us: here in Australia, you can publicly say "Christmas." You can call your company gatherings "Christmas Parties,"  and "Merry Christmas" is advertised everywhere in writing and on public decorations, both in a secular and religious sense. It feels weird, but it's nice to not have any heated drama surrounding the occasion. It seems like in the US, the politically correct "holiday season" often goes overboard and can lead to some crazy double standards from all sides of the debate.

Anyway, it's Christmas in Melbourne, and the whole city has been decked out in holiday flair. There are seasonal decorations everywhere, including a massive tree in the middle of the CBD and a fun lights show displayed directly on the Town Hall building, every ten minutes on weekend nights. The Myer department store has an annual tradition of dressing their windows with creative and intricate displays, featuring a new theme each year. Families traditionally line up in droves just to catch a glimpse of these legendary creations, braving rainstorms and hot summer conditions. Ben and I haven't lined up to witness the magic just yet, but from a distance it looks like this year's theme is "Demonic Gingerbread Creatures." Pretty festive!



Also, corporate companies take their holiday season seriously, making employees take work off from the week of Christmas to after the New Year. No Scrooges in Australia! Which is awesome, because I'll get to spend a whole two weeks hanging out with my partner. Ben has been working really long days ever since we arrived in Melbourne, so it'll be a nice break for him.


This isn't my first Christmas away from my family, but it's Ben's first holiday season away from his, and it is also the first Christmas I won't be with anyone else's family. But like I've said before, Ben and I are a family all by ourselves now, and we're making our own family traditions for future puppies and children to partake in. 

Here is a list of the new Kortlever Family Holiday Traditions:

1. Decorate the house in festive trash. Someday we will have Nice Things, like ceramic snowmen figurines and light-up mini winter wonderland houses. But for now, we will utilize old pizza boxes and pasta sauce jars, dolled up with discount store ribbon and plastic ornaments. 


2. Bake cookies. Also, have a vacuum cleaner handy, especially if Candice is baking them.

3. Record a Christmas song. 

We will probably think of more traditions, but #3 has been taking up all my brainpower this weekend...


CK

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Monday, December 16, 2013

adventures in the country.


Because of travel logistics, Ben was planning on staying in New South Wales over the weekend - but he still technically had the weekend off. So we saw it as an opportunity for us to visit some other parts of Australia, especially since we would have access to his company's car. I took a Greyhound bus from Melbourne to Gundagai for the weekend, and we went on a nice road trip.

We drove around Gundagai, Wagga Wagga and Coleambally, which are small country towns. The landscapes are cool - lots of rolling hills, trees and wildlife. We saw horses and cows and sheep - but unfortunately, the only kangaroos we saw were dead in the middle of the road, which is upsetting. Kangaroos are pretty much like deer in America, I've heard. Also, the flies are pretty aggressive out in the country - they're constantly swarming around your face, and a bunch of them always make it inside the car whenever the opportunity arises. Ew. We encountered some angry ant-swarms as well, and drove by some massive ant nests that look like entries in a sandcastle contest. We haven't come across any bird-eating spiders yet, but we haven't exactly been looking either...

Ben was great at driving on the left side of the road. I asked him about the biggest differences between driving in the States and down under, and this is what he came up with:

- Driving on the left side of the road is weird, but it's the orientation of the steering wheel that takes a while to get used to. Occasionally, Ben accidentally engaged the windshield wipers when he meant to use the turn signal. Which is pretty much what I did all throughout my American driver's ed test 10 years ago...

- Kilometers make distances seem a lot smaller, at least when you're used to miles. "200 k to Gundagai" is under two hours, when you're driving the speed limit of 110.

- People generally drive the speed limit here. In the States (especially in Seattle), the signs could say 60mph, and you could be going 70 mph, but people will pass you in the right lane at 80mph, shooting you glares of wrath in the process.

- The road cameras probably have something to do with speed limit obedience. Instead of just having cameras capture a car's speed at a particular point, there are multiple cameras along the highway that also measure your speed from one point to the next. So, if you drive at the speed limit for the first camera but arrive at the next camera within a timeframe that would challenge Superman, math will be done and you will get a ticket. At least, I'm pretty sure that's how it goes.

- In Australia, the word for "appetizer" is "entree." I know this doesn't belong on the list, but I just wanted to write about it anyway.


We spent Saturday and part of Sunday in Canberra, Australia's capital. It's home to the Parliament and a ton of museums, and the downtown area has a fun college-town feel to it.


We toured the inside of the Parliament building and saw some of the different embassy offices - including the South African embassy, where people had placed flowers, pictures and gifts in honor of Mandela. 



We also went up the Black Mountain Tower (also called the Telstra Tower), which has a really cool two-layer outdoor viewing deck. We took lots of panoramic pictures, enjoyed some breakfast at the coffee shop (bringing back many fond memories of my previous job), and even chatted with some nice people from Nepal who insisted we take a picture with them. 



Anyway, I'm back in Melbourne for the week, and Ben comes home on Friday. We both had a wonderful time exploring a little more of Australia together. Living in the city is pretty awesome, but sometimes it's nice to get away from it all.

CK


Friday, December 13, 2013

run club.

This past Wednesday, I decided to check out Melbourne's Nike Run Club. I've only been doing the pavement-pounding thing for a little over a year and a half, and I don't consider myself a particularly fast or gifted athlete - on a good day I typically run 9-minute miles, which is pretty average, and that's just fine with me. One of the things I like most about running is that everyone is acknowledged and respected, no matter how fast or not-fast they run. You're a runner if you win half-marathons on a monthly basis, and you're a runner if you do an 11 min./mile lap around the lake once a week. Everyone is pretty supportive of each other, and even though winners are acknowledged and win prizes, often anyone who crosses the finish line is congratulated for their accomplishment. Pretty neat.

I handed my registration sheet to one of the leaders, who then explained that there would be several different pace groups to choose from. "5 minute pace is the fastest group, 7 minute pace is the slowest." 

Oh. Oh dear.

I thanked her and smiled and secretly panicked, trying to recall if this was actually an elite Olympic training group. And then I realized that paces here are measured in kilometers, not miles. Silly me! I decided to run with the 7 minute km people, even though the 6:30 pace might have been a better fit - but I'd rather run near the front of the pack than struggle to keep up and get lost in the great Australian outback.

The run was great - we started at the Federation Square amphitheater and ran around the good old Tan Track. There was Gatorade at the finish and free t-shirts for people who have attended at least 5 meetings. This marks my very first attempt at an Australian social gathering. Per usual, I did not make efforts at building long-lasting relationships with fellow humans. But I got out and did something with people, and I'm definitely planning on doing this again.

Because clothes in Australia are expensive, and a free t-shirt is too good to pass up. 

CK

Sunday, December 8, 2013

phones & other stuff

Ben and I finally have Australian phone numbers! We attempted to get them last week, but didn't have enough identification/documentation to do so. We were pretty much only waiting for our debit cards, which were supposed to arrive within our first week, but ironically were never sent to us because we couldn't provide a valid phone number for our bank account. Lots of catch 22s when it comes to moving! Anyway, it was kind of relaxing to be phone-free for almost a month, but it's really nice being able to make calls again, and to easily get in touch with Ben. It will also help with my job search, which will officially start after the holidays. 

We got our phones set up just in time for Ben's first work trip, which is for two weeks (including the weekend in between! sad). He's off to Gundagai, Wagga Wagga and Coleambally - which, when pronounced correctly, sound like planets from the Star Wars universe. Ben is currently in the middle of a 5-hour drive on the left side of the road, thankfully in an automatic car with another coworker to teach him the ropes. A lot of people have asked us about driving on the other side of road, so we'll finally have some stuff to write about that. I'll be attempting to make a trip up to visit him for the weekend, but will definitely be taking a bus. I already have a hard enough time driving on the right side of the road back in the States..!

It sounds like Ben will be working out of town on a few more occasions, including another two weeks out in January. It's nice that he'll get to see some other parts of Australia while we're here, but I do miss him every time he's away.

CK





Friday, December 6, 2013

oh the weather outside is...?


Some people have asked me about the weather in Melbourne this time of year. "You're heading into summer down there," they say. "Must be nice to wear shorts in December!"

Sure, sure.

I would like to take a moment to describe my personal experience with the weather yesterday. 

I decided to take a trip to the Queen Victoria Markets, which Anne had suggested to me as a great place to buy fruits, veggies and souvenirs for family back home. I stepped out onto our balcony for a weather test. It felt a bit cooler than the warm sunshine we'd been enjoying earlier during the week, and it was slightly overcast. I dressed in a few layers and a knit hat, and made my way to the bus stop to catch the free City Circle Tram to the market.

The QVM is massive and crazy, with giant warehouses filled with rows upon rows of booths. People sell everything from fresh mangoes to knock-off designer purses, plush wombats to giant posters of One Direction - you know, daily basics. There was lots of shouting and bargaining, crowds of people everywhere, utter chaos. I browsed the aisles, comparing prices of things, going through my to-do list. And then I heard what sounded like a pack of rhinos charging across a field of eco-friendly potato chip bags. 

As it turned out, it was not the apocalypse, but a heavy rain shower pounding down on the warehouse roof. I glanced outside and it looked like buckets of water were being dumped onto the sidewalks. People instantly took shelter inside, merchandise booth workers were furiously pulling out tarps to cover their plush koalas and boxing kangaroos, as the wind ripped through the warehouse, scattering wooden souvenirs and price signs everywhere. One man tried to make a profit from the situation, holding out cheap umbrellas and shouting "Umbrella! Umbrella! Five dollar!" A few minutes later, the rain died down, and it was slightly sunny and a bit warm. People began wandering outside again. And then not ten minutes later, another stampede of raindrops hailed down upon the city, and that man finally started selling a few of those five-dollar umbrellas. After I was finished at the market (and after several more cycles of rain-dumping), I caught the tram back to the apartment. It was still overcast, but dry, and there were no more raindrops to be seen.

Later that afternoon, I headed out again to run some errands in the neighbourhood. I consulted the balcony for another climate check, and realized that it had cooled down significantly - almost like late fall/early winter weather. I bundled up, headed downstairs, and saw that most of the people strolling along the sidewalk were in sundresses or shorts. Strange Aussies. The wind picked up and I was freezing, so I put on my hand warmers, then decided to stop into a cafe for an extra hot skinny latte for the warmth. 

The instant my cozy, woolen hands touched that cup of piping hot caffeinated goodness, the sun decided to leap out of the shadows and make its grand entrance of the day. No sooner had I taken a sip of foam, beads of sweat began forming on my forehead and it was instantly a warm spring midwestern day. Suddenly, shorts and a sundress were the obvious apparel choices, and I looked like a misplaced arctic explorer in my winter coat and knitted accessories. Embarrassed, I began peeling off layers and stuffing them into my messenger bag, and of course as soon as the last drop of latte was gone, the sun crawled back into its cave of heavy clouds and I was shivering again. The layers were promptly returned to my confused body.

So, the next time I am asked to describe the weather in Melbourne, I will just describe the emotions I recycled through during the timeline of my high school years. Because really, "unstable, erratic and kind of volatile" is probably a lot more accurate than any weather report for the state of Victoria.

And as I am typing this, I am wearing shorts in my sun-filled apartment.

CK

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

new neighbourhood.


We've been at our new place for a few days now, and it's been great so far. Unfortunately, Ben has been working a lot, and his current commute is an hour each way. He leaves the house before 7am and gets home after 8pm, just in time for a late dinner and then bedtime. :( We're both really looking forward to the two weeks he's off for the holidays.

Anyway, this has left me in charge of household errands (!!) and exploring our new neighborhood, which is pretty cool. There's a bank and a grocery store a block away, a bunch of cafes and restaurants next door, and we're minutes from the huge central train station. Our apartment is a walk away from a pretty happening outlet (dangerous!), the footy stadium, and a bunch of corporate offices including the big news stations. It's a pretty young neighborhood - a decade ago, the area was just a giant dock, but now it's the home of a ton of cool stuff, and we'll probably see more businesses crop up here in the next few years. Everything on our street closes at 5ish, so our evenings are nice and quiet.

We finally have internet at our apartment, so I don't have to keep loitering around the local wi-fi hotspots with my iPad. Still waiting to receive our air shipment and get cell phones (we'll talk about that later...), but every day we're feeling more and more settled.

It's so nice to be home.

CK

Monday, December 2, 2013

our first home.


After three months of living out of suitcases in guest rooms and hotels, Ben and I finally have a home of our own! Last Monday we looked at a brand new fully furnished two-bedroom apartment in the Docklands area of Melbourne, within walking distance of the CBD and a great deal compared to other apartments we'd checked out. Our application was accepted on Tuesday, we signed the lease on Wednesday, picked up our keys on Saturday and moved in on Sunday. Our real estate agent was very pleasant to work with and explained the entire lease in great detail, which was helpful in making sure we weren't accidentally signing our lives away to satanic forces.

Anne graciously helped us move and took us on a Costco run, and afterwards the three of us spent the beautiful afternoon walking through the vibrant South Melbourne markets, having lunch at a delicious Turkish cafe. The weather has been very nice, and everyone describes it as "upper 20's and 30's," which apparently means warm and sunny. I still need to get used to this Celsius thing.

Moving is expensive and exhausting, even when you don't have a lot of stuff to move, and even when the place comes fully furnished. The apartment has really nice furniture, cooking items and some great storage pieces. But there are still a lot of things we need, and it's been kind of irritating to get them, mostly because we have it all in storage at the family cabin in Washington. But we chose to leave those items behind, like we did our movie collection. Speaking of which, my laptop is now permanently set to only play Zone 4 DVDs, so I guess it's a good thing we didn't bring our American movies. Except for our wedding video, which apparently we won't be watching for a while...

For our first dinner, I cooked up some pasta on our new stove, and then accidentally dumped all the contents into our new kitchen sink. Ben made some joke about me "throwing everything in including the kitchen sink!" which would have been funny, except that I had also managed to fail at doing a simple load of laundry that night too. Homemaker Candice is off to a fantastic start.

Nevertheless, we finally have a home, and it's our first time actually living together. We've waited a long time for this day, but it was well worth it - our apartment is beautiful, we're in an awesome city, and things are slowly but surely coming together.

And for the first time since the wedding day, we finally feel like we're actually married.


CK