Washington 2016 - Candice's Reflections

When Australians ask me where I'm from in the U.S.A., my answer is usually "Seattle".

It's kind of a lie.

Technically I've lived the most years of my life in South Brunswick, New Jersey (12 years) with Grand Rapids, Michigan as a runner up (9 years). I do consider both places where I "grew up", and yet I don't feel like I can honestly say that I hail from either, for various reasons.

I suppose Seattle feels more like home because it's where Ben and I met, and essentially grew up as partners. The state of Washington has always been a central part of our relationship, which began soon after I moved to Seattle in 2009. I dated him and explored the Pacific Northwest simultaneously - from the island he grew up on (Whidbey Island), to the various local neighbourhoods we lived in (Queen Anne, Ballard, Ravenna, Edmonds), to the nearby towns where we planned hikes, road trips and getaways. We ended our first date at the top of the Space Needle, where I had just gotten a job (serving Starbucks coffee - how cliche...)! Even Ben's proposal was pretty iconic - in a boat in the middle of Lake Union, to the backdrop of the city skyline on a beautiful August afternoon.

So, last month I finally got to return "home" to Seattle, for the first time since we moved to Melbourne in 2013. Even though I'm very happy with our current Australian city, I felt very re-energised and excited to be back in the Emerald City. I've always felt a pull towards Seattle - even before living there, and even after leaving.

the Seattle skyline still gives me chills.

Nine days was not enough time for everything we wanted to do and everyone we wanted to see. We have a lot of loved ones in the area, time was spread too thinly, and we had to schedule many of our plans at the last minute. But despite being busy and a little stressed about logistics (and Seattle traffic! oh how we don't miss that...), the visit was just what we needed - a chance to introduce Arden to the rest of Ben's family, and an opportunity to revisit our "roots" as our own little family.

After all, Seattle was the beginning of us, and therefore the beginning of her.

I loved seeing Arden interact with her grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins - especially her youngest cousin, 18-month old Hudson, whom I got to meet for the first time too! And it was really special for Arden to meet both her paternal great-grandmothers as well.

As Ben mentioned in his reflective post, Arden took a while to warm up to all the people she met, and usually cried if someone new tried to hold her. 8-9 months is kind of a tradeoff for meeting new people. For many babies, this is the beginning of the "separation anxiety" phase, but it's also the beginning of a new interactive/playful phase, once the anxiety fades away. Fortunately, most of Ben's family got to experience a few smiles and giggles.

Arden was actually quite the trooper during our entire trip, experiencing many new things all at once - like riding in a car seat, hanging out with a dog (Ben's dad's chihuahua Romeo, who was really great with Arden), and sleeping in a new location every few days. Fortunately she had gone through the worst of the adjustment process in Hawaii, so by the time we got to Washington she was no longer having epic meltdowns before bedtime - thank goodness!

Romeo is probably the first dog Arden has ever seen up-close. maybe someday we'll get a puppy..! maybe. someday.

We tried to see as many of our local friends as possible throughout our visit, including a few who also had babies around the same time we did. It was so much fun to see the next generation interacting with each other -  swatting at their new friends' faces and batting toys out of each others' hands, as babies do. July is a really busy month for everyone, and we were only in town for one weekend - so we were glad to be able to catch up with as many people as we did. My cousins even drove down from Vancouver, B.C. just to meet up for coffee in Edmonds!

It was a short and busy trip, but well worth the long journey. It felt surreal, bringing Arden to Seattle - a city that means so much to us - and seeing her in familiar neighbourhoods and houses. It sounds silly, but before this trip it was hard to think of Arden as part of our families. She's a Melbourne baby, and we're only used to seeing her in the context of our Australian life. But now that everyone has met her, it's almost as if her birth feels complete, at least to me. We have a daughter, and she is connected to our families in Washington and Michigan, linking everyone together by blood.

Arden loves her aunties!

It was hard to leave, knowing that the next time everyone sees Arden, she will be very very different - most likely walking, talking... and hopefully not bursting into tears every time someone laughs!

A huge thank-you to our families and friends who hosted us, squeezed us into busy schedules, and travelled long distances just to meet our baby girl. We miss and love everyone, and hope to visit again soon!

 CK

p.s. Here's a short video I made for our Washington trip. I also wrote/recorded the music - enjoy!
 
Washington - July 2016 from Candice Kortlever on Vimeo.

Washington 2016 - Ben's Reflections

Since moving to Australia, I’ve taken a trip home to Washington every summer to visit friends and family (and escape Melbourne in the winter).  This year, after a long 8.5 months (especially long for all the family that was waiting to meet her), we took another trip to Washington to introduce Arden to my family (and also so Candice could enjoy her first trip back to Washington since we moved).  It was a long journey, but it was worth it to see everyone light up when they first laid eyes on Arden.

We spent the first part of our trip on Whidbey Island, where I grew up, and enjoyed our time there settling in, relaxing with family, and enjoying some beautiful walks around Honeymoon Lake, South Whidbey State Park and Langley.  For the second part of our visit we stayed with my sister Lindsay in town, which made it easier to connect with friends and visit some of our favourite places likes Edmonds and Kerry Park.  We even walked by The Loft, the bar where Candice and I first met.

hanging out at Dad's house.

where it all began!

It was a surreal experience seeing my family interacting with Arden.  Other than my other sister Saralyn’s visit in May, all of my family’s relationship with Arden has been through FaceTime and pictures.  I was really excited to see how they would interact with her, how she would react to each of them, and how I would feel.  Unfortunately it took Arden quite a while to warm up to anyone, and sadly it was laughter that would make her the most upset, so my parents had to keep their distance at first otherwise Arden would burst into tears whenever they laughed.  It was the last thing I wanted for our visit, especially as Arden is at such a fun age where she smiles and laughs a lot, and I wanted my family to experience that side of Arden.  Fortunately her nervousness wore off eventually, and I was able to enjoy seeing my family bouncing her and kissing her chubby cheeks!

family photoshoot!

Arden and her cousins.

me and my sisters, being awesome as usual.

I think it was a pretty unique experience for my family to see me as a father for the first time too.  Like my Dad commenting on how strange it was to hear the fun voice I used when talking or reading to Arden, and having to remind myself that they hadn't seen me in this new role of parent before.  One of the highlights of the trip for me was seeing Arden take naps on both my Mom and Dad during our visit, as it was something I hoped that they would get to experience. I also wanted the family to get a sense for who Arden is and experience her personality first hand, just as I wanted her to know about the rest of her family, and I felt throughout our trip the love that they all have for Arden, and it was a wonderful feeling.

four generations, part 1

four generations, part 2

Arden snuggling with her Mimi after a nap.

Our visit was over way too soon, but I’m so grateful for all the memories and fun times we had with everyone.  Whether it was taking time off work, driving long distances or being in hundreds of pictures, our family and friends made us feel special and showed Arden so much love.  I can’t wait until we are all together again.

-BK



Washington - July 2016 from Candice Kortlever on Vimeo.

Hawaii 2016 - Candice's Reflections

researching our vacation destination with Totoro.

Last year when Arden was a newborn, my family and I had discussed a few different options for a family reunion. My brother Gabriel isn't able to travel too far (he gets very sick on airplanes), so hosting them in Melbourne wasn't an option. A visit to Grand Rapids, Michigan would have been wonderful, but four flights with an infant sounded like a huge hassle for a relatively short trip.

Ultimately we decided to meet "halfway" for a relaxing destination reunion in Honolulu, Hawaii. It would be an equally significant journey for everyone, but worth it for the beautiful scenery and warm weather (especially for us, as July is the middle of winter in Melbourne).

In a nutshell, Arden traveled well - babies are relatively easy fliers, especially compared to toddlers and antsy children. But from the moment we landed in Honolulu, she totally fell apart. The combination of international travel, brand new experiences (her first taxi ride was more traumatic than her infant immunisations...) and the sudden season reversal took its toll on her. For the entire U.S. trip she was very anxious and not her usual cheerful and happy self, immediately reverting back to her terrible 5-month old sleeping habits. But carrying Arden for all her naps was actually more convenient for our travel situation, so it all worked out just fine!

We rented a two-bedroom condo with a gorgeous view from every angle. Being on the 30th floor meant spectacular views, especially of Diamond Head... but it also meant a not-so-spectacular experience when the hotel fire alarm went off one night and we all had to evacuate down - and back up - 30 flights of stairs!

Ben and I enjoying some downtime on the balcony

My parents were more than willing to take care of Arden as much as they could - especially my mom, who always wanted to hold and play with her. Ben and I took advantage of the free babysitting by going on some beautiful hikes during the day, including Koko Head Crater and of course, Diamond Head. (for more details and photos, see Ben's blog entry!)

at the top of Koko Head Crater, with Honolulu at my feet.

Vacations with my family are usually packed full of activities (my mother is kind of a super-planner), but we really held back on this trip since we didn't know how Arden would travel. But for a trip with no agenda, we sure did a lot of fun things! Some major highlights included a Luau for Ben's 32nd birthday and brunch at the Disney Aulani resort with some familiar characters.

Ben's birthday luau

meeting Minnie Mouse at Aulani Disney resort!

It was so wonderful to finally introduce Arden to Gabe, her namesake (her middle name Brie comes from the name Gabriel). He is so thrilled to be an uncle, and throughout the trip he fondly patted her head and chatted excitedly to her. In return, she conveniently rested her foot on him whenever he was nearby. 

Gabe is the best uncle!

Gabe and Arden all dressed up for the 4th of July

Arden wasn't too fond of being held by my dad, but she loved smiling at him around the condo. It was very sweet, and I've never seen her smile so much! And even though it's been a while since my mom's first time meeting Arden, she took almost every nap snuggled on my mom's shoulder.

Our family vacation in Hawaii was a wonderful experience, and I'm grateful that we got to make some awesome memories. Despite Arden's difficulty adjusting to the new environment and people, it was worth it to see her happily interacting with her uncle, being held by her grandparents, and wearing all the cute Hawaiian outfits my mom bought her.

The end of the trip was pretty bittersweet. While I was emotional and sad to part ways with my family, on the other hand I was excited to see Ben's family in Seattle, looking forward to the second half of our trip.

I guess it's one of the aspects of having a family scattered around the globe. As my mother often says of her own experience with international family, "you're always saying goodbye to someone".

But on the other hand, we're always saying hello to someone, too. And that's not a bad thing at all.

CK

Hawaii - July 2016 from Candice Kortlever on Vimeo.

Hawaii 2016 - Ben's Reflections

I love Hawaii.  I love the natural beauty, from the jagged mountains to the scenic beaches and lush greenery, but I also love the vibrant culture that makes it feel distinctly different from any other state in the U.S.  I’ve been fortunate enough to visit twice before, to the islands of Maui and Kauai, but this was my first trip to the popular tourist destination of Waikiki on Oahu.  It was also the first time Arden would get to meet Candice’s dad and her brother Gabe, which made our holiday even more special.

The first day we arrived in Hawaii felt like the longest day of my life, and made for a rough start to our vacation.  After a red-eye flight from Melbourne to Honolulu, where I didn’t sleep at all, we had almost an entire day to wander around Waikiki before the hotel could free up the room for us to check in.  So there we were, the first day of our long awaited vacation, with the beach a short walk away and the sun shining, and all we wanted to do was collapse in bed and sleep.  We had a very grumpy Arden, we felt disgusting from a day spent travelling, we couldn’t unpack or settle in, and yet we were in paradise.  We made the most of our time despite being exhausted, and it ended up being a great day, especially when Candice’s family arrived that evening, but the worst was yet to come.

post red-eye flight, pre bedtime-meltdown.

That night we attempted to put Arden down to sleep according to her routine at home.  It was a disaster.  She was screaming and inconsolable in a way we had never experienced before, and even once we finally managed to calm her down it wasn’t until late in the night when she finally fell asleep (in bed with Candice, while I slept in the other room).  Would we ever get to experience a normal night of sleep on our vacation?  The answer ended up being no, but we survived.

Thankfully the second day brought much improved spirits for all of us, thanks to a bit of sleep and finally being able to appreciate our surroundings.  The condo we stayed in had an incredible view looking directly at Diamond Head, while we also had a stunning view of the Ko’olau Range from our bedroom.  We were 2 streets away from Waikiki Beach, a 5 minute walk from the Honolulu Zoo, and were surrounded by tons of great restaurants and shops along Kalakaua Avenue.

the view from our balcony...

...and the view from our bedrooms.

The first few days of our visit were all about giving Arden time to reconnect with her Amah, and introducing Arden to her Angkong (Chinese word for grandfather) and Uncle Gabe.  She was quite sensitive and shy around the family at first, but thankfully we had plenty of time together for her to get over her shyness and allow everyone to hold her.  We also took lots of strolls along the beach and boulevard, went out for delicious meals, visited the Honolulu Zoo, and took Arden for her first dip in the pool.

watching the sunset on Waikiki beach

After a few days relaxing and exploring around Waikiki on foot, we rented a van and travelled around the island.  We made a trek to visit the Disney Aulani resort for an incredible brunch, went to an excellent Luau for my birthday, and visited the massive Ala Moana mall.

meeting Mickey at the Disney Aulani resort

all dressed up for my birthday Luau!

The biggest highlight of the trip though was Arden’s dedication, which we had at First Presbyterian Church, nestled at the foot of the Ko’olau Range.  It was breathtaking, and such a beautiful, intimate ceremony.  Candice also had the great idea of hiring a professional photographer to capture the moment, and to take some shots of Arden with the family.  The pictures turned out excellent, and we are so grateful to have them to remember that special day.

 

Over the last few days of the trip, with Arden finally fully settled in to her new surroundings, Candice and I were able to go off on our own for some hiking adventures.  Our first hike was by far the more difficult of the two, a hike straight up the side of Koko Crater along an old railroad line (1,048 "steps").  It was steep, slippery, and narrow, and we had to stop constantly along the way to catch our breath.  The view from the top was excellent though, looking over Koko Head, Makapu’U Point, and back towards Diamond Head and Honolulu. It was also wonderful to get out and experience a bit of time in nature.

Koko Head Crater

the "shaka" - when in Hawaii..!

The next day we walked up Diamond Head, which was a much more popular and much more relaxed hike.  While I preferred the quiet beauty of Koko Crater, Diamond Head was a more interesting hike, especially the section where we were walking through a tunnel in the mountain as we reached the summit, and the views of Honolulu were excellent.  The summit also had the remains of an old military lookout, which we were able to wander inside.

Diamond Head

Our last day in Hawaii we went to Angkong’s cousin’s house for dinner before our red-eye flight to Seattle.  It was actually quite close to the church where we had Arden’s dedication, and featured excellent views of the mountains.  They also had a garden filled with bananas, papaya, avocado, pomegranate, tiny adorable pineapples and many other fruits.  It was so kind of them to open their home to us, and was a wonderful way to wrap up our excellent trip.

visiting Candice's dad's cousins

beautiful views, and fruits grown directly from their back yard!

We are so thankful for all the time we had in Hawaii.  It was full of laughter, great food, beautiful scenery, perfect weather, and of course lots of time for the family to snuggle with and get to know Arden.  Thanks to Amah, Angkong and Uncle Gabe for making the trek out to Hawaii, for making all the arrangements for our visit, and for all the great memories!

-BK

Hawaii - July 2016 from Candice Kortlever on Vimeo.