going back to grand rapids.

I'm back in cold and rainy Melbourne, after a wonderful holiday to visit my family in warm, sunny... Grand Rapids, Michigan?

That sounds so, so weird.

But it's true! The weather in the Midwest was amazing throughout my trip, although apparently the summertime temperatures had only arrived shortly before I did.

sibling selfie.

It was a pretty long journey comprised of four flights (Melbourne --> Sydney --> L.A. --> Detroit --> GR). I'm one of those strange creatures who usually loves flying and hanging out at airports, but spending a combination of 22+ hours on a plane was not very comfortable with a growing belly. It was totally worth it, though. And the timing worked out perfectly, as my trip was sandwiched between the last day of my winter class and the first day of a new internship.

Contrary to popular belief, my visit had nothing to do with the pregnancy - we'd booked the tickets way before baby K was even in blastocyst form. But my visit ended up being a really fun opportunity to finally announce my pregnancy, online and in person. I thought it would be hilarious to surprise a few friends by showing up to lunch dates without trying to hide a thing... although in retrospect it was probably a bit awkward for them, as my "baby bump" is still within a questionable range of "is she growing a fetus or did she just eat one too many kangaroo burgers..?"

It was also nice to share the pregnancy announcements in the company of my family, since they won't be around for many of the baby's early milestones. My brother lovingly rubbed my belly nonstop throughout my visit, and I enjoyed talking with my mother about her pregnancies, shopping with her for a few baby items and looking at old photos of myself as an angry adorable infant.

Gabe is so excited to become an uncle!

I don't have too many friends left in GR (ironically many of them have moved to the Pacific Northwest), but I was able to see a few who still live nearby: lunch dates with Lori and Sean and Sarah M, a lovely adventure through downtown Chicago with Sarah VP, and I even got to visit Sara B, who spent a week with us in Melbourne last year! And by wonderful coincidence my best friend Kathleen and her family happened to be in town for a series of weddings. I was able to hang out with her playful and imaginative toddler and meet her brand new precious baby.

friend-dates!

I really enjoy life in Melbourne, but we still don't know that many people and it can feel pretty lonely at times. So for the 10 days I was in Grand Rapids, it was nice to be surrounded by familiar faces and places. Some things may have changed in the area, but not the ability to run into random friends and acquaintances at restaurants and stores!

I hadn't set foot on American soil since our move in November 2013, so naturally I was craving some good old American food. I visited all my favourite restaurants (Olga's Kitchen! Mongolian Barbeque! even the exotic cuisine at Olive Garden!), kept a gallon of cherry ice cream in my parents' fridge, and generously dumped butter topping all over our popcorn when we went to the movies. I also made a stop at Meijer's to stock up on toiletries and other things that are either super expensive or hard to find down under (toothbrushes, makeup, loofah sponges, even a pack of coveted dryer sheets).

buttery popcorn!

stir-fry at Mongolian BBQ

As a bonus, I got to see my mother perform at DeVos Hall with the Grand Rapids Symphony. I greatly admire her as an artist and director, so it's always a real treat to be able to see her in her element when I'm visiting. I'm hoping that someday when our baby is old enough to enjoy concerts, we'll be able to visit GR during the Christmas season so we can expose him/her to the joys of Midwestern blizzards attend my mom's winter performances, such as the Festival of Lessons and Carols - and of course the legendary Holiday Pops concert!

the GR Symphony at the NPM national conference

backstage with mom!

Even though I'm pushing 30 and have lived on my own for many years, it was a nice change of pace to feel... kind of like a child again. To take a short family road trip to Chicago, visit the Meijer Gardens, spend an afternoon at the beach, and I can't remember the last time we all went to the movies together (we saw "Inside Out," a totally appropriate movie for the occasion if there ever was one).

hanging out at the Grand Haven beach

swimming at the Amway Grand pool

at the Frederik Meijer Gardens

Don't get me wrong, Ben was definitely missed during my trip. We texted, e-mailed and used FaceTime when we could (like on his birthday, which I missed -- sorry Ben!). But I think that if he had joined me this time around, it would have been a completely different visit. We would have had to spend less time in GR in order to also visit his family in the Pacific Northwest. It would have been super fun - but also a bit chaotic, trying to schedule in as many visits and events in a shorter amount of time.

And selfishly, I enjoyed the opportunity to be just a family of four again, probably for the last time. Marriage may shift a family structure in many ways - but babies totally change everything, forever. It'll be a good change, and I'm very excited to bring a new life into both of our families. But a familiar, childhood-like family environment is something people rarely get to relive, especially after the big life transitions. I'm so very grateful that I had one last opportunity to revel in my old family life, even if just for a few fleeting moments.

at the Navy Pier in Chicago

Thanks for a great visit, family and friends in Grand Rapids. I hope to be back someday in the near future - next time with my baby (and my husband) in tow!

CK

until next time, Calder.

just a little update...

This would probably be a good time to tell everyone that we're expecting a baby.

For real!

22-week baby bump..!

Ben and I are very excited to become parents, and to finally share the news with everyone. These kinds of announcements usually call for a ton of questions (and answers), so I've compiled a little list of some of the most frequently-asked ones:

Baby Kortlever FAQ

When is the baby due?

The estimated due date is October 27. But at the moment I'm hoping it arrives on the later side, maybe in early November. You know, after finals week..?

Will the baby be an Australian citizen/receive dual citizenship?

Nope. It'll be born a pure American, like its mommy and daddy. In fact, after it's born it'll need to apply for its very own baby visa!

Unlike the US, Australia doesn't have birthright, or jus soli, citizenship. The only way baby Kortlever could be born an Australian citizen is if either Ben or I were Australian citizens ourselves, or if we became permanent residents before the baby's birth. We would like to gain permanent residency in the future (we can't apply until we've lived here for at least two years), in which case our baby will also become a PR. It makes sense, and it's fair. And at the very least our baby will get to fill out its college application forms with some impressive, yet complicated, stuff. (Sorry, sweetie! We really do love you...)

What are the differences between prenatal care in the US and Australia?

I've never been pregnant before, so it's all new to me! But from what I hear from friends and family, American prenatal care is a lot more hands-on. During my first trimester I only saw a general physician, who did one blood test on me at 5 weeks. No weight/blood pressure/etc. measurements, no physical exams at all. (My first obstetric appointment wasn't scheduled until week 18. Yikes.)

I wasn't 100% sure I was actually carrying a human child until I went in for my (optional) 13-week ultrasound. It was incredible. Our little fetus was just the size of a peach then, and already bouncing around, waving its little arms and touching its face. So cute! And kind of scary-looking from some angles. But mostly cute!

Of course, my experience with Melbourne's public hospital system isn't indicative of all of Australia. If we had gone the private hospital route (aka had a better visitor's insurance plan), or if my pregnancy was deemed "high-risk" I'm sure I would have received more prenatal care.

On a side note, Australian healthcare is pretty interesting. All citizens and permanent residents are covered by Medicare, but many people purchase their own private health insurance on top of it, for better access to private facilities. Our visitor's insurance plan covers most of what Medicare does (public health care with a small co-pay), except unfortunately we aren't eligible for things like free flu shots/vaccines like Permanent Residents/Citizens are. Bummer!

Do you have a nickname for the baby?

I've been telling people that I have a "mooncake in the oven" - like, a bun in the oven but with a Chinese pastry instead. Technically I should be calling it a "xiao bao" (which means "small bun" in Chinese) but it doesn't quite have the same ring to it. So, mooncake it is!

Boy or girl mooncake?

We're not planning on telling anyone until it's born! Mostly because I like being sneaky and secretive (and terrible). And because in this day and age - when big news is so often shared on-demand (and travels at lightening speed) - I think it's fun to rebel a bit.

As for what we're "hoping for", Ben already has three nephews, so it would be exciting to have the first baby girl on his family's side. But baby boys are so much fun, and they have better clothing options (kidding. kind of.) - we'd be thrilled with either! As long as it's perfectly well-behaved, delightful to be around, and sleeps exactly when it's supposed to...

Will Candice take leave from school?

Not if I can help it. If all goes as planned, I will only have one semester left of grad school to juggle alongside mommyhood. And not even a full semester, as I "overloaded" this past year with an extra winter class. Infant childcare might be a little tricky, as we have no family nearby, but we'll figure something out.

Baby K's due date coincides with the very beginning of the University's summer break, so I'll at least have a three month "maternity leave" before I'm back in class. It could always be worse - my mother began her Master's degree when I was a baby, got into her Doctorate program not too long after Gabriel was born, and worked through it all. I have no excuses!

Are you guys moving back to the States?

At the moment we have no set plans to move back to the US yet. We're here until I finish school at the very least (hopefully June 2016), and then we'll play it by ear. We do miss our family and friends way too much, even more so with a baby on the way. If it looks like we'll be living here for a few years more, we're thinking a family trip to the States could be fun. After all, babies fly free until age three on many airlines.

What was Candice's first pregnancy symptom?

Bawling, crying like a baby, sobbing...

after the Seahawks lost the Super Bowl.

Okay, so the timing is a bit of a stretch, and for many people in general it was a pretty emotional ending for a sporting event. But I'm still blaming it on pregnancy hormones. Because why else would I - me, Candice - be weeping at the end of a football game?? Hormones, I tell you.

___

Anyway, thanks to everyone for all the love and support! It's been quite the ride so far, and it's only getting crazier and more exciting with each month. We look forward to sharing the updates as they come!


CK