family.

"You'll see when you move out. It just sort of happens one day... and it's just gone. And you can never get it back. It's like you get homesick for a place that doesn't even exist... maybe it's like this rite of passage, you know. You won't have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself... for your kids, for the family you start. It's like a cycle or something. I miss the idea of it. Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people who miss the same imaginary place." 

-Andrew Largeman, "Garden State"

Family is an incredibly complicated thing, even in the most basic sense: the definition. Who is family, and what exactly makes them family? Blood, marriage, friendship, love - sometimes one, sometimes all of these things. To some, family is a basic nuclear unit, visiting extended relatives during special occasions. Some have more diverse family structures due to divorce, remarriage, differences in biological origins, etc. And some people aren't even technically related - but they're family just the same. We recently had a discussion with someone whose extended family includes descendants of her grandmother's best childhood friend. No blood relation, but they celebrate the main holidays together and call each other "cousins." Family can be a lot of wonderful things.

Very soon after our engagement, Ben and I realized that many people in our families had different and sometimes conflicting ideas of what "family" meant. Planning a wedding seemed to open up a large can of worms, resulting in many hard conversations about topics that had never been fully discussed before. And although the situations were - and still can be - rather frustrating to deal with, it was also fascinating to observe and examine the ways in which different people define, and act as, family. Personal experiences and expectations play a big part in these differences. And because our families come from a variety of cultures, races, religions and backgrounds, things will always be complicated. And that's okay. Our families are beautiful.

But in all reality, a wedding isn't just the joining of two (or more) families - it's the celebrated separation of two people that have chosen to create their own family. For Ben and I, our families are still family, but now things are different. We still belong to our respective families. We are also a part of each others' families. 

And now we're a completely new family altogether. 

CK

limbo.

iktsuarpok: "an Inuit word that describes the feeling of anticipation that leads you to keep looking outside to see if anyone is coming."

So, it's been just over a month since our wedding day. A very short and very long month. Short because it feels like the big celebration was just a few days ago, and we'd spent over a year anticipating it (I hesitate to say "planned," because in all reality my mother did most of the planning - and by most, I mean all). And long because, well, we're in a limbo period of our lives at the moment. 

About a month prior to the wedding, Ben received a wonderful job opportunity, which would require us to relocate to a Very Awesome Place. It was divine and wonderful timing. We weren't entirely sure when we would be moving - we were told anywhere from a week to a month or more - but we had to be prepared to leave as soon as all the paperwork went through. We weren't going to be around long enough to sign a lease on an apartment, so we had to get rid of a lot of stuff, move some stuff into storage, and figure out a place to temporarily put the rest of our belongings while we were off getting hitched. 

The few weeks leading up to the wedding were pretty chaotic. 

The week of the wedding was pretty chaotic.

And now it is not chaotic at all.

We're still here in the Emerald City, waiting on some paperwork to go through before things get rolling again. It's kind of frustrating, because we're very ready to move. The weather has shifted from warm/beautiful/sunny, to windy/rainy/horrible just within the month of September, and it'll only go downhill from here. We've told our family, close friends and coworkers about the intended move, and it's no fun to keep explaining that we have no idea when we're leaving, but we are, soon... ish. And most of all, we've been waiting a long time to finally make our home together. 

On the bright side, we've been staying with the most wonderful and gracious friends, who have continued to open up their home to us despite our presence greatly exceeding our planned relocation timeline. We've been able to make the rounds and say goodbye to family and friends, and visit with people who were unable to attend our wedding. We still have our jobs in the city, so we've been able to continue earning paychecks and enjoying the city views from our high-rise offices. And my gym membership is still valid until mid-October, so I've been able to keep up my hard-earned elliptical skills.

It's not a terrible place to be, here in limbo. It's given us some time to catch our breath and relax before our crazy moving adventure. It's a much better place than, say, middle school. 

And at the very least, we have each other.

CK